yan~the life of the always forgotten

Penakut

2012-02-02T21:01:00.002+08:00

Now I know why I like this song so much.

The lyrics, it feels close to my heart.

Terasa. Sangat.

An open letter

2012-01-30T23:09:00.001+08:00

To whom this may concern,

Stop playing around, will you? I'm sick and tired of u toying with my heart. Just stop it, okay? Stop it if you still consider me as a friend.

Please, just grow up. It's not cool to treat people like this.

This happened to me yesterday.

2012-01-29T00:10:00.001+08:00

#foreveralone

Lagu

2011-12-17T11:47:00.002+08:00

Ingatkan sape Bedroom Sanctuary ni. Rupanya Bo.

masih demam

2011-12-14T12:39:00.000+08:00

Full Name : Mohamad Syahrul Azwari bin Ibrahim
Date of birth : 12 January 1993 (age 18)
Place of birth : Tanah Merah, Kelantan, Malaysia
Height : 1.75 m (5 ft 9 in)
Playing position : Striker/Winger

Tak habis demam lagi ni. Haha

p/s: geram rasa macam nak sikat je rambut dia. apsal serabai sangat?

scaredy cat

2011-11-28T13:47:00.001+08:00

Have you ever heard a song that at first you're like mehh ape ni then after a while the song started to grow on you? "Penakut" does that to me.

Enjoy.

zaman muda

2011-11-23T23:55:00.001+08:00

comel kan kan kan? haha

S.A.

2011-11-23T00:40:00.001+08:00

Tu, tu. Yang nombor 18 tu. Jangan tanya kenapa. *senyum nakal*Haha.

rokok dan kopiah

2011-11-18T18:41:00.001+08:00

Rasa macam nak nangis. Syabas Matluthfi.

if the mask fits, don't put it on

2011-11-18T03:59:00.001+08:00

I've read somewhere that people wear masks. It's not a literal mask la, it's a "mask", as in a pretense, an act that we have to carry on everyday in our lives. This mask shields your true personality. The article that I've read is about the masks people wear in relationships. But I think, whether we are in a relationship or not, we are still wearing our masks.

The mask developed as early as in our childhood. I don't know about you guys, but for me my mask is about being right all the time. I feel like I have to do the right thing every single minute, and I fear of making mistakes. When I did make a mistake, it will feel like my life is over. Well, at least for a certain period of time. But the point is, I hate to be defeated. It sucks to be wrong.

I feel like I have to set an example and be a role model to my younger siblings, and I always pretend that I am invincible, as if I can handle any given pain but the truth is I am very fragile. Sometimes when people are not looking, I cried alone. I seldom confide to anyone about my problems because I don't want to bother them.

Sometimes I just want to let loose and just be whatever I want to be, do what I really want to do, and go where my feet take me to. I seriously want to put down my mask and just be me. But I know I can't. Well at least not now.

So for now, I'll just wear my mask and try my best to be happy. :)

of Twitter

2011-11-13T03:52:00.001+08:00

I'm addicted to twitter. Well, kinda. I don't tweet all the time, but I have to be on twitter, almost all the time. I refresh the timeline like, in every 2 seconds. That's how addicted I am to twitter.

I know my tweets are mostly crappy but whatever. I tweet anyway. I tweet just for fun. And sometimes I just have to say something so badly but at the same time I don't really feel like talking to anyone so my solution is to tweet. I don't know why people take twitter so seriously. I mean, it's just Twitter. If you don't like someone's tweets you can simply unfollow him/her. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

And one more thing, right now it's some kind of popularity contest over there. It's like high school all over again. People are tweeting to be in the limelight. It's very juvenile, you know. I know I don't tweet much, but I do observe, a lot. And I can't help but to feel disgusted with all these attention seekers.

But whatever happens I still love Twitter, because there are still nice people over there. I know I don't interact much with those that I followed but I love reading their tweets. Sometimes, they made my day. And I got good friends over there too so it's cool la with me.

Anyway if you have a Twitter account, you can follow me @aziyan_n. That is if you don't mind reading crappy tweets. ;)

there's a first time for everything..

2011-11-03T17:12:00.001+08:00

Terasa down sangat sekarang. Gone to a couple of interviews but still got no news. Hmm.

These past few days, a lot of things had happened. I've done a few things I've never done before. One of them is, yelling at a cab driver. Yep. True story. I did that.

Not that I am proud about it, but it's just that I'm desperate and I'm really tired. I've just finished my interview in Kota Kemuning and all I wanted to do that time is to go home and lay down. I called the cab, and waited. Not long after that, the driver called and asked where am I because he's already there but there's no sign of people. I said he got the wrong road so I repeated the address. Then he said he's exactly at the place. He said I gave him the wrong address.

I have no intention to yell at him, but he made me. He was very rude, he blamed me because I wasted his time and gas. And trust me, he yelled at me first. After I said I already confirmed with the owner of the cafe nearby that I got the right address he still didn't believe me and continued to yell at me. Well, that's it. I thought. That's all I could handle. You've asked for it. So I explode. Then he hang up.

I called the taxi operator to ask for another taxi, but no other taxi responded. Finally, the cafe owner offered to send me to a nearby mc d where I can easily get a taxi there. So yeah. Thanks to the owner, I was able to go home after two long hours.

Seriously, I don't understand why people like the taxi driver existed. I mean, I am a customer, and I am the source of his earnings. But why does he have to act all arrogant and yell at a customer? Just because I'm desperate and I really have to get on a cab, doesn't mean you can yell at me and be cocky and obnoxious and downright stupid like that. Urgh. Seriously, I felt like I argued with a teenager. He is so immature.

There and then, that's another example of how you can still be a kid no matter how old you are. I hope I don't have to yell to a taxi driver ever again after this. Sigh.

I'm a proud makcik!

2011-10-22T21:48:00.000+08:00

Muka kerut-kerut.

Tenang je.

Pout haha

My newly born nephew. Welcome to the family, Muhammad Irqaed. Cik Ngoh loves you.

books and authors.

2011-10-10T18:14:00.000+08:00

Today I will write about books. I love reading. Sometimes I can finish a book in one sitting. I've noticed that every author has his/her own genre. For example if u read Danielle Steel's books, well they're mostly sappy love stories.

I love Haruki Murakami. His books mostly contain a lot of metaphors, so you can interpret however you like, according to your own understandings. My favourite is 'Norwegian Wood', but this book is kinda like a biography, so there's no metaphors whatsoever in it but to me it's a good read. Another one is 'Kafka on the Shore'. This one is purely fictional and contains a lot of metaphors. Sometimes I wonder where does Murakami get the ideas to write such books. It's wacky and sometimes outrageous. However, some people might not like his books, you either love it or you'll completely hate it. In my case, I love it.

Cecilia Ahern is another favourite. I like her books because although mostly her books are about love, it is the type of love stories that I like. I love 'Thanks for the Memories', 'Where Rainbows End' and of course the ever popular 'P.S. I Love You', but my favourite book of hers must be ' A Place Called Here'. It is not a love story, it's a story about a girl that is lost in a place called 'here'. It's a very interesting read, and somewhat fulfilling. I don't know how to describe it better, but while reading it, I just feel 'full'. Nevermind, maybe that's just me.

Jodi Picoult's books are mostly about diseases. So far I've read 'Change of Heart' and 'My Sister's Keeper'. All I can say is, they are not my cups of tea. I don't like stories about illness and deaths.

I also love Alan Bradley. So far he has only published 3 books, and I've read 2. His first book is 'The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie' and his second book is ' The Weed that Strings the Hangman's Bag'. Personally, I love the first book better. In his second book, he kinda lost his wittiness.

Judith McNaught was banned during my school years and Sidney Sheldon got laughed at my English teacher. I have yet to read Paulo Coelho's books, although I do follow him on Twitter. LOL.

I love cats. meow!!

2011-09-23T04:57:00.001+08:00

I really love cats because they are super adorable. But I don't own one, because now it's not the right time for me to adopt a cat. Saje je nak share gambar kucing-kucing adik aku yang aku cilok dari fb gf dia.

Comel gila kan? Ni masa dorang kecik lagi. Sekarang dah besar, dah baligh dah haha. Nanti adik aku cakap dia nak bawak balik kucing-kucing ni so aku nak la sekor. Tu pun if I already have my own place la kan. Sebenarnya aku dah kena tido dah sekarang sebab esok nak gi KL, ada kenduri on the weekend and Monday lak ada job interview. Tapi entah la. Terupdate blog pulak. Hehe ok la I really have to force myself to sleep now. Good night.

pesanan khidmat masyarakat.

2011-09-16T03:46:00.001+08:00

kepada mereka-mereka yang tak register lagi sila register. tanggungjawab tu beb.

rollin' in the deep

2011-09-15T05:07:00.001+08:00

this is hillariously entertaining! lol

salam aidilfitri

2011-09-13T22:48:00.000+08:00

ehem ehem.

selamat hari raya semua!! raya kan sebulan.. hehe. so jangan pelik pulak tiba-tiba je aku wish selamat hari raya ni. sebenarnya baru ada mood nak mengupdate hari ni, sebab tu la baru nak wish.

raya tahun ni ok la, tapi kurang meriah sikit sebab tak ramai yang balik. family aku pun tak cukup, adik aku yang study kat india tu balik raya lambat. raya ke 8 baru balik. pastu sedara-mara ramai tak balik tahun ni. budak-budak kecik kureng la tu sebab jadi kurang meriah. tahun depan confirm meriah sebab tahun depan dah beraya dengan anak saudara sendiri yeayyy!! kakak ipar aku tengah sarat sekarang ni. due akhir bulan 10. tak sabar tak sabar. hehe. maklumla nak menimang anak sendiri macam tak nampak bayang lagi, so ni nak menunggu kelahiran anak saudara excited lebih sikit la. dahla anak saudara sulung. aku rasa 1 family excited. hehe.

so, nak cerita apa lagi eh? tahun ni ada jugak beraya dengan kawan-kawan tapi tak best sangat sebab sehari je dapat melepak dengan mereka. hmm. tahun depan tak tau la dapat melepak bersama lagi ke tak. takut ada yang dah beraya sebagai isteri orang je tahun depan. isk. sedih pulak bila fikir. huhu.

by the way, em em nak cakap apa lagi eh? by the way selamat hari raya. maaf zahir dan batin kepada semua yang mengenali diri ini. cewah. halalkan makan minum semua ye. okay tu je. nak letak gambar tapi em em nak letak ke tanak ye. em em ni macam dah terjangkit penyakit mai je. hehe. ok la aku letak la satu.

maaf cermin berabuk hihi.

nah amek. besar punya gua kasi. haha ni akibat jakun guna interface blogger baru la ni. hehe. kbai.

thanks.

2011-08-20T15:37:00.003+08:00

thank you

for those things you gave to me

for those feelings you make me feel

for those excitements you gave

and also for those frustrations that follows

thank you

for being in my head each and every second

for haunting my nights without fail

for making me wait the endless wait

and also for the pain that you make me suffer

thanks to you

I could not listen to regina spektor

or rosie thomas

or mono

or even the strokes

the same way ever again

thanks

for being in my life even for a short while

but I won't let u in anymore, even if you want to

thanks, but no thanks.

I've had enough.

Having A Coke With You

2011-08-17T02:03:00.003+08:00

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I'm with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o'clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them

I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it's in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven't gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn't pick the rider as carefully
as the horse

it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it

—Frank O'Hara

bittersweet memories.

2011-08-10T23:17:00.002+08:00

"You're like a drug that I can't stop taking
I want more and I can't stop craving
I still want you, it's easy to see
But guess what honey, you're not that good for me."

nur kasih the movie

2011-08-09T23:08:00.003+08:00

Semalam entah kenapa rasa nak tengok Nur Kasih. Dulu aku tak layan pun series dia. Tapi sebab ramai orang cakap kalau tak tengok series pun still boleh faham cite ni so aku tengok la. Jalan cerita dia bagi aku ok la. Just kadang-kadang rasa macam scene dia bertukar cepat sangat.

Cerita ni still revolves around 3 watak utama dia macam dalam drama dulu, Adam, Aidil n Nur Amina. Dalam cerita ni Aidil baru kematian isteri dia, Lia. Then Nur pulak pregnant, tapi tak lama lepas tu dia miscarriage. Then untuk mengubat hati kot, Adam n Nur pergi holiday ke Jordan. Lepas tu konflik pun start la bila dah sampai Jordan ni. Malas nak cerita. Kalau korang nak tau tengok sendiri la ye.

Tapi ada banyak sangat benda yang aku tak faham dalam cerita ni. Firstly, kenapa Adam perlu tinggalkan Nur sorang-sorang semata-mata nak cari cincin Nur yang hilang masa diorang accident. Maybe aku tak faham apa signifikan cincin tu sebab aku tak follow series dia, tapi bagi aku macam tak patut pulak dia bahayakan diri semata-mata nak cari cincin tu. I know cincin tu must be something yang sangat bermakna bagi diorang tapi after all it's just a ring. What really matters is that both of them are safe and they have each other. Cincin boleh beli baru kan? Am I right?

Secondly, aku tak faham apsal tiba-tiba si Jamal pukul Aidil. Maybe sebab aku tak dengar sangat kot sebab maklumla tengok kat youtube je, tapi aku still tak boleh terima tiba-tiba si Jamal tu rage pastu belasah Aidil dengan teruk. Dahla nama Jamal. Tak urban lansung. Haha.

Thirdly, aku rasa cam Lia tu mati tak pasal-pasal je. Sebab kejar layang-layang pastu kena langgar kereta. Aku rasa cam lemah sangat la sebab Lia tu mati. Lain la kalau dia mati sebab nak selamatkan anak dia yang tengah kejar layang-layang sampai tengah jalan sampai nak kena langgar dengan kereta ke. Baru la nampak cam logik sikit.

Itu jela yang aku tak puas hati. Yang lain-lain ok. Yang paling aku respect is its cinematography. Superb gila kot. Even aku tengok kat youtube je, tapi still boleh notice gambar dia lawa. Well, that's expected la kan, sebab Khabir Bhatia punya filem. Cuma CGI dia aku rasa boleh improve lagi la, especially scene orang terbakar time accident keretapi tu. Nampak sangat tak real.

Scene yang paling aku suka masa Adam tengah melukis kat sawah padi. Scene tu bagi aku sweet sangat, aku tengok senyum-senyum sorang macam orang gila.

Scene ni la.

Adam: Ni lukisan abang ke lukisan Nur ni?
Nur: Dua-dua..
Adam: Tiga-tiga.. (sambil pegang perut Nur)

Awww. Sweet sangat. Haha. Ok dah dah jangan nak feeling sangat.

Ok tu je kot. Selamat bersahur semua.

trend k-pop

2011-08-04T19:50:00.003+08:00

Sekarang trend yang paling hot di kalangan budak-budak ialah trend k-pop. K-pop ni maksudnya Korean pop so country of origin mestilah Korea kan. Personally, aku suka jugak dengar, eh bukan dengar, TENGOK music video k-pop ni. Sebab music video dia best, camera angle, jalan cerita, gambar semua best la. Tapi sebab paling utama ialah sebab diorang jambu. Hahahaha biasa la dah nama pun pompuan kan. Mestila suka tengok pakwe-pakwe jambu and hensem. Jap aku letak gambar-gambar mamat hensem yang aku suka.

Ok gambar yang last sekali tu terlebey sudah la pulak. Dah la bulan-bulan puasa ni. Haha. Taste aku memang yang jenis-jenis camni la. Yang tak jambu sangat. Haha ok ok sebenarnya nak cakap pasal k-pop kan. Sambung balik. Banyak betul gangguan heheh.

K-pop ni lagu dia boleh la. Ada yang aku suka, ada yang cam ehhh camni pun boleh buat lagu?? Yang aku suka lagu yang ala-ala ballad je. Lagu slow-slow, sebab yang ni je best kat telinga aku. Yang jenis-jenis k-pop yang betul-betul k-pop tu kureng sikit la. Kalau tengok pun sekadar nak mencuci mata.

K-pop ni sebenarnya wujud dah lama, tapi baru sampai kat Malaysia ni baru 2-3 tahun. Tapi tahun ni la paling meriah aku rasa. Kejap-kejap je mesti ada group k-pop yang datang buat concert kat Malaysia. Siap ada contest K-pop talent show lagi kat Astro Hitz. Yang ni aku pernah tengok sekali jela, ada yang betul-betul berbakat. Ada yang sedehh sangat. Haha. Tu la kuatnya penangan k-pop kat Malaysia ni.

Tapi penangan yang paling kuat bila ada segelintir manusia nak try tiru k-pop ni kat Malaysia. Takyah cakap panjang la, benda ni dah lama pun kecoh kan. Dengan kumpulan Gula-gula lah, Max 24-7 la, ada lagi 1 group tapi lupa nama group tu. Yang ni memang sedehhh sangat. Kalau muka jambu takpe jugak nak join-join group camni tapi muka sorang-sorang jawa. Yang perempuan pulak pakai seksi nak mampus konon nampak macam SNSD la tapi alih-alih nampak cam Rosalinda n the gang. Ala Rosalinda yang nyanyi welcome to Malaysia tu. Kalau korang nak tengok video Rosalinda n kuncu-kuncu dia korang gi je search kat youtube. Berlambak-lambak ada.

Tapi bagi aku la kan, fenomena k-pop ni ada jugak kebaikannya. Contoh kalau budak-budak yang dengar lagu k-pop tu nak faham lirik lagu yang diorang dengar, diorang akan cari translation lagu tu in English. Lepas tu kalau konon-konon diorang nak join forum-forum pasal certain artist yang diorang suka kat internet tu, diorang kena communicate in English. Maknanya, secara tak lansung k-pop ni boleh meningkatkan penggunaan bahasa inggeris di kalangan peminat mereka. Kira bagus jugak la kan macam tu. Tapi setakat ni tu je la kebaikan k-pop yang aku nampak.

Ok tu je kot update yang tak emo untuk hari ni. Mesti korang menyampah kan everytime update je post entry emo-emo. Biasalah orang bercinta memang camni nak buat camne kan. Harharhar. Actually nak update pasal pergi holiday kat Medan hari tu tapi malas pulak sebab banyak sangat gambar. Lainkali jelah. Ok tata.

someone like you

2011-07-31T01:01:00.002+08:00

A cover of Adele's 'Someone Like You' by me.

Been listening to this song all this week. Somehow it matched my feelings.

2011-07-28T16:56:00.002+08:00

We live in a society where people are very judgmental. Once we made a mistake, people will remember us for that mistake forever. But when we achieved something great, no one remembers. That's the world that we are living now.

I know I have made a huge mistake. It's irreversible. And I care about what people think of me. Now I am forced to make a decision that makes everybody happy. Which in turn will not make me happy but that's me. I'll sacrifice myself for everyone else's happiness.

I hope I won't be alone in this. I need your support.

rolling in the deep

2011-07-25T17:17:00.000+08:00

This. is. simply. awesome.

of self esteem

2011-07-24T23:20:00.002+08:00

I have to admit, I have a very low self esteem. I always feel insecure about almost everything. Maybe it's because of the way I look. I mean, if I was slimmer, I think I still look average.

If someone said I was pretty, or cute, I think they just said it out of, I don't know, politeness, maybe? Of course I wouldn't believe them. I don't know why, but as I get older, I get more and more insecure. I hate to say this but I am a very insecure person.

Sometimes I feel like all my relationship failed because of my looks. Sometimes I feel like my mom is disappointed with me because I am not as beautiful as her when she's my age. Haha. Yeah I am insecure like that.

A friend said that I need to get up and get stronger and be less insecure but, it's easy for her to say that because she's pretty.

I'm sorry, but there's no place else for me to whine but here. Hmm.

you lost me

2011-07-23T18:46:00.002+08:00

"I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We've found our lives been changed
Babe, you lost me. "

.

2011-07-22T00:21:00.002+08:00

Being kept in the dark is seriously painful. You'll be stressed, frustrated, angered and sad all at the same time. Being in a relationship should make you feel happy, well maybe not all the time but most of the time. But no, I'm not happy.

So yeah.

Maybe I'll end this soon. But who knows what will happen next.

All I can do now is wait and see.

I do. Do you?

2011-07-19T22:04:00.002+08:00

Dua tiga hari ni asyik dengar lagu ni je. Malas nak update panjang-panjang. Tengah jetlag lagi ni. LOL.

doubts

2011-07-10T02:12:00.004+08:00

I am very doubtful right now. I don't know if I have the willpower to continue this relationship. I don't know if I am strong enough to be in this relationship.

First off, we are two very different human being. It's almost like we're from two different planets. Everything about us is different. Our background, our style, our personalities, they're all very different. He's not the type of guy that I would normally fall for.

But despite our differences, we have something that we both value so much. And I think that's the only thing that we have in common.

But I don't know if that one thing that we have in common is strong enough to make us stay together forever. Maybe we should learn more about each other, try to walk in each other's shoes, but, I don't know. I am very doubtful right now. I don't have the confidence. After all, being with someone like him is something new to me. And I have a very tough time adjusting to this.

I don't know why I have to fall for a person that is very different from me. Maybe what people say is true; opposites DO attract. Sigh.

blast from the past 1

2011-07-07T01:28:00.003+08:00

Torn by Natalie Imbruglia

Dulu masa aku darjah 6 (tahun 1998), aku dengan kawan aku minat gila kat lagu ni. Kawan aku tu nama dia Siti Asiah. Masa ni zaman-zaman budak pompuan tengah minat The Moffats, Hanson, BSB dan boyband-boyband yang sewaktu dengannya. But we prefer Nat. Sebab dia comel & lagu Torn ni macam best gila masa tu. Waktu rehat aku dengan Asiah selalu nyanyi lagu ni tapi bila sampai part "naked" tu dua-dua malu nak nyanyi. Lol. Asiah cakap nickname Natalie ni "Nat Umbrella Stand". Tapi tak tau la betul ke tak kan. Korang google la sendiri untuk mengetahui kesahihannya.

p/s: Video klip sebenar dia lagi comel, tapi sebab takleh embed letak video ni jelah. Comel jugak.

a video to sweeten your day

2011-06-29T16:17:00.001+08:00

Awww..

bercakap tentang diri sendiri

2011-06-28T03:14:00.002+08:00

Aku sebenarnya dah rasa ngantuk tadi, dah siap baring atas katil. Tapi bila pejam mata je macam-macam melintas kat otak. Rasa bersalah, takut, frust, nervous, semua ada. Korang agak-agak aku boleh tido tak bila dah macam tu? Sebab tu la aku bangun balik. Bukak laptop balik. Bukak blog. Type entri ni.

Entah la, nak cakap lebih-lebih pun tak tau camne, nanti kang malukan diri sendiri pulak.

Haih.

Dahla. Malas nak bukak pekung di dada sendiri.

critical distance

2011-06-26T17:38:00.002+08:00

When you're 25, you started to doubt everything. You doubt whether your action is appropriate, you doubt whether what you wear suits your age, stuff like that. You started to question yourself a lot.

And while you are busy questioning yourself, you started being ignored by the people around you.

dope.

2011-06-26T05:07:00.000+08:00

Gallows by Cocorosie

semalam part 2

2011-06-15T07:54:00.003+08:00

"Awak, cuba tengok langit sekarang."

"Kenapa?"

"Awak tengok jela."

"Waa..cantiknya bulan."

"Awak nak tak bulan tu?"

"Huh?"

"Tak, saya tengah snap gambar bulan sekarang. Saya kat padang ni."

"Oo, boleh jugak."

semalam

2011-06-11T23:47:00.002+08:00

"Hai awak."

"Ye. Nak apa?"

"Rindu kat awak je. Dah tidur ke?"

"Belum."

"Buat apa tu?"

"Tengah golek-golek. Nak tidur dah."

"Ok."

"Ok je?"

"Miss you :)"

"Awak suka kat saya ke?"

"Maksud awak tu suka macam mana?"

"Takde apa la. Haha."

"Haha. Awak tanya soalan macam budak-budak sekolah time nak usha couple. Kelakar :)"

"Bukan kelakar la. Comel je."

"Alololo..comel ye? Huhu."

"Yela. Kenapa awak rindu saya?"

"Rindu tu perasaan. Perasaan tu bukan boleh saja-saja buat kan? Datang sendiri."

"Emm sejak bila awak sedar awak rindu saya?"

"Dua tiga hari dah kot. Awak ni macam polis tanya tanya soalan kat saya. Haha. Saya tak bersalah."

"Haha padan muka awak. Awak jahat sebab tu saya macam polis."

"Takde bukti awak nak tuduh saya jahat. Kalau nak dakwa saya pun buang masa je kot. Hehe."

"Haha yelah. Awak tak jahat. Kenapa tak tidur lagi?"

"Nak tidur la ni. Mata macam ada gam. Huhu. Jom tidur."

"Ok. Dah hilang dah rindu?"

"Tak tau la. Kenapa?"

"Takde apa. Tadi beria cakap rindu. Sekarang nak tidur pulak. Mixed sign sungguh. K la awak, tidur la. Nite."

"Ye, saya rindu awak. Memang rindu pun. Awak text saya at least dapat la kurangkan sikit rindu tu. Emm. K la awak."

"Awak rindu kenapa?"

"Kan saya cakap, rindu tu perasaan. Memang saya tak tau nak bagi sebab apa kalau awak tanya kenapa saya rindu."

"Ok."

"Ok. Saya tidur dulu eh. Mengantuk sangat. Nite."

"Nite."

bosan.

2011-06-11T00:35:00.003+08:00

see more Poorly Dressed

Hey man, I see you’re busy looking great and all, but I think someone is using your bike as a urinal.

LOL!!!

Serius bosan. Gambar diambil di sini.

my favourite cat

2011-05-25T03:16:00.002+08:00

This is Maru, my favourite cat. He just celebrated his 4th birthday yesterday. Comel gila Maru ni. Kalau dapat kat aku siap la aku penyek-penyek sampai lebam. To know more about this charming cat, please visit his blog.

semalam birthday saya.

2011-05-23T23:27:00.002+08:00

Tension gila. Tadi aku dah type banyak dah, dah 5 perenggan camtu pastu laptop bodoh ni buat hal. Aku tengah type type tiba-tiba dia jadi delete semua benda yang aku dah type. Bukan masalah laptop ni, tapi masalah keyboard. Entah apa pasal entah. BTW, ni aku guna laptop acer lama aku yang ada kat rumah.

So, back to the orginal topic. Semalam birthday aku, tapi takdela celebrate mana pun. Just masak-masak lauk yang lain dari biasa je. Pastu mak aku ada buat kek birthday, tapi pukul 1 pagi baru siap. Ingat nak potong kek malam ni, tapi mak ayah aku pegi menghadap 'our highness' nenek tercinta pulak. So esok jela jawabnya. Hadiah pulak, mak aku bagi perfume. Tu jela. Lagipun sape lagi yang nak bagi kan.

Ramai jugak orang wish birthday dekat facebook. Dalam ramai-ramai tu, ada jugak la yang wish diikuti dengan tanya soalan yang annoying iaitu: bila nak kawen?

I know, I know. This is getting old. Banyak kali dah aku buat entri pasal kawen ni. Selalunya kalau orang tanya camtu aku cool je. Tapi semalam tiba-tiba emo pulak. Sebabnya, orang yang tanya tu banyak kali dah sebenarnya nak menyibuk pasal hal nikah kawen aku ni. Rimas gila.

Pastu tadi aku story la kat mak aku. Cakap aku bengang la bla bla bla. Aku cakap aku nak je cakap kat manusia tu ingat aku saje-saje je ke tak nak kawen? Laki sekarang susah nak cari yang baik. Pastu yang nak kawennya aku, yang dia nak sibuk tu kenapa? Tak cukup dengan jaga kain sendiri nak jaga kain orang pulak?

Pastu mak aku pun bagi la nasihat. Dia kata biasala masyarakat memang macam tu. Manusia memang macam tu, lagi-lagi orang melayu kan. Nak buat camne. Kena bear with it je la. Lagipun level of thinking manusia ni lain-lain. Kita fikir macam ni, dia fikir macam tu. Sebab tu la manusa tu rasa dia kena sibuk hal peribadi aku. Mak aku cakap lagi, jangan la kawen sebab desperate, sebab taknak jadi andalusia. Kawen bukan untuk sehari dua kan. Dia cakap, jodoh, mati semua hal Tuhan. Dia yang tentukan. Yang pasal usaha tu dia cakap bukan usaha cari laki macam perigi cari timba. Tak pasal-pasal nak ngorat entah sape-sape kan, tapi kita usaha dengan doa. Tu la yang aku tengah buat sekarang, aku doa.

Dah dah. Mak aku pun tak bising korang takyah la bising. Kalau betul nak bising sangat, doakan jela aku cepat dapat jodoh lepas korang solat. Ok?

Ok la, takat tu jela malam ni. Lagi banyak aku type kang lagi banyak aku emo. Last sekali, tq banyak-banyak kat semua yang wish aku. Tq sebab ingat lagi kat aku walaupun aku kadang-kadang tak ingat korang. LOL.

2011-04-29T10:39:00.002+08:00

I used to think that I'm all that. But actually I am not.

I always put up a strong front. I always pretend to be strong. But in reality, I am weak. I am fragile.

I always keep everything to myself. I have been bottling it up for a very long time. I think I might explode anytime.

I stalk your profile when I miss you.

2011-04-20T09:11:00.001+08:00

kids.

2011-04-09T00:05:00.005+08:00

..and some adults.

Auntie Nik & Nabila

Iskandar

Dini & Unclenya.

Tok Yah & cucu saudaranya. Cucu kandung insyaAllah 8 bulan lagi. :D

reala

2011-04-08T23:47:00.006+08:00

Testing pakai film fujicolor reala. IMO, kodak ektachrome lagi best kot.

Location: Banting, KL, UTP, Ipoh.

melaka

2011-04-08T23:26:00.004+08:00

Update pics je. Malas nak bebel panjang-panjang.

Finally.

2011-03-25T05:46:00.004+08:00

And finally.

We're over. Ironically I don't feel sad at all. Maybe because I knew this would happen. I just felt devastated, and somewhat liberated. And a bit furious, of course.

"Go fuck yourself. You don't deserve me anyway."

That was my last words to him.

this is too cute..

2011-03-01T03:41:00.002+08:00

The late Kurt and his family.

Picture taken from here.

secrets

2011-03-01T03:05:00.000+08:00

I wish I could give all my secrets away.

lagu yang paling banyak element pessimism.

2011-02-20T19:38:00.002+08:00

Lagu ni:

Kenapa aku kata banyak elemen pessimism? Meh kita study lirik dia.

Perenggan pertama:

Cindailah mana tidak berkias
Jalinnya lalu rentah beribu
Bagailah mana hendak berhias
Cerminku retak seribu

Nak berhias tapi cermin pulak tiba-tiba retak seribu.

Perenggan kedua:

Mendendam unggas liar di hutan
Jalan yang tinggal jangan berliku
Tilamku emas cadarnya intan
Berbantal lengan tidurku

Tilam dah emas, cadar pun kemain buat dengan intan, tapi tidur berbantalkan lengan je. Kesian..

Ok la, aku bagi 2 contoh je. Lain-lain boleh study sendiri.

Pelik kan lagu ni. Sampai sekarang aku tak dapat pengajaran dari lagu ni. Yang aku notice cuma lirik dia je yang sedih dan negative. Kena tanya penulis lirik dia sendiri kot. Mungkin dia nak bagi nasihat secara berkias kot. Biasala orang Melayu memang suka cakap berlapik. Korang faham tak maksud lagu ni? Kalau faham tolong bagitau aku ye.

p/s: Sue, awak ingat tak dulu kita dengar ceramah pasal ni?

video yang supercomel.

2011-02-16T04:13:00.002+08:00

Sumpah comel video ni. Adik dia tu, eee rasa nak picit-picit je. Abang dia tu pun aku rasa nak picit jugak. Eh, over sudah. Bahaha.

Ni ada lagi video comel:

Comel kan kan kan? Aku rasa mamat ni banyak tengok cite Spongebob la. Intonasi dia cakap tu macam Spongebob. Lagi-lagi Spongebob yang dah alih bahasa tayang kat tv9 tu. Sebijik ok macam suara dia. Alamak kantoi suka tengok Spongebob.

Ni video dia yang latest.

Kelakar gila kan? Sakit perut aku gelak. Paling best part hantu kena belasah. LOL.

K la kalau nak lagi boleh tengok kat sini. Aku dah khatam dah semua video dia *ayat berlagak*. (ceh tu pun nak berlagak ke?)

Err, hello?

2011-02-15T00:08:00.006+08:00

Hai semua. Jangan tanya kenapa aku hai hai kat sini. Hari ni aku memang 'chirpy' sikit so please excuse me.

So this is the first real blogpost for 2011. Yela, sori sebab aku malas nak update blog. Alasan baik sikit sebab takde benda nak cerita, life aku pun monotonous je. Takde excitement, but well, setakat ni aku ok lagi la hidup macam ni. Walaupun bosan tapi telan je la. Jalan mesti terus.

Sedar tak sedar dah masuk tengah bulan 2 dah sekarang. Cepat betul masa berlalu. Aku teringat ada ayat Quran (ke hadis, aku tak sure sangat la) pasal masa makin cepat berlalu bila dah nak dekat-dekat kiamat. Ayat dia lebih kurang macam ni la: masa nak dekat kiamat tu sehari rasa macam sejam je. Jap nak google.

Ha dah dapat dah hadis asal dia.

Yusuf bin Abdullah bin Yusuf Al-Wabil

Dari Abu Hurairah Radhiyallahu ‘anhu, ia berkata : Telah bersabda Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam.

“Artinya : Tidak akan datang kiamat sehingga …. zaman semakin berdekatan “.

Dan diriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah pula, katanya : Telah bersabda Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam.

“Artinya : Tidak akan datang kiamat sehingga waktu semakin berdekatan , setahun seperti sebulan, sebulan seperti sejum’at, sejum’at seperti sehari, sehari seperti sejam, dan sejam terasa hanya sekejap”.

Itulah dia hadis sebenar dia. Sumber dari sini.

Seram kan. Nampak sangat sekarang kiamat dah sangat dekat. Amal ibadah tak cukup lagi ni. Huhu.

Sebenarnya post ni takde point yang jelas pun. Macam biasa la, aku type je apa yang terlintas kat otak. Oo ok dah ingat dah apa nak cakap. Nak cakap tahun ni aku dah 25 tahun. Tak lama je lagi, 3 bulan 7 hari je lagi umur aku akan meningkat lagi setahun. Gila la weh.

Mak aku dulu umur 25 dah ada dua anak kot. Huhu seram. Aku ni, entahla, tak tau la nak cakap. Jodoh tak sampai lagi. Personally bagi aku 25 tu tak la tua lagi, tapi tu lah, orang sekeliling aku yang buat aku rasa 25 tahun tu dah tua sangat. Sikit-sikit tanya bila nak kawen. Soalan tak boleh nak cliché lagi ke? Boringgggg!!!

Aku senyum je selalu bila orang tanya pasal ni. Pastu cakap, "eh saya belajar pun tak habis lagi, camne nak kawen". Itula jawapan standard aku bila orang tanya. In a way betul jugak la jawapan aku tu, tapi tula, sebenarnya masih belajar bukan halangan nak kawen kan? Alasan je tu sebenarnya. Tapi nak buat macam mana, kalau jodoh tak sampai lagi apa boleh buat. Sabar jela, sambil doa banyak-banyak kat Tuhan bagi dipercepatkan jodoh.

Kalau tahun lepas aku freak out jugak la kalau fikir pasal kawen ni. Tapi tahun ni aku dah cool sikit. Maybe sebab dah matang kot. Haha. Aku yakin, jodoh tu ada, cuma cepat atau lambat je.

Ada orang cakap jodoh tu memang ada, tapi at the same time kita kena la usaha jugak untuk bertemu jodoh ni. Kalau dok diam je memang tak dapat apa la kan. Well, aku tak cakap kan aku tak berusaha? Aku memang tengah berusaha jugak la sekarang ni. Tapi takkan nak kompang satu kampung kot pasal hal ni kan. Kita rilek-rilek sudah. Korang pun doa-doakanla aku ye?

Bercakap pasal jodoh, baru-baru ni kakak sepupu aku baru bertunang. Baru tak baru sangat la, 25 Disember 2010. Dah 2 bulan lebih kot. Haha. Nak tengok gambar dia tak?

The not-so-blushing bride to be.

Eh, tak nampak pulak cincin tunang.

From left to right: My sis in law, mama, kak dina.

Cukup la letak 3 gambar. Gambar banyak sebenarnya tapi internet lembab, seksa kalau nak upload banyak-banyak. Semua gambar amek guna holga, filem lak negative biasa je, kodak iso 200 kot.

Eh cakap pasal tunang, kawan aku Ijan pun dah tunang jugak. Kalau nak tengok gambar dia sila la jenguk blog dia sendiri ye.

Okay setakat ni dulu la kot entri ni. Dah ngantuk dah ni. Dahla semalam tidur 4 jam je. Lastly, selamat menyambut Maulidur Rasul untuk kamu semua. Esok jangan lupa selawat banyak-banyak ye.

p/s: Congrats, you. Have a happy life with her. You once said marriage is not for you, but I think now everything will change, right?

Ewww..

2011-02-13T19:02:00.001+08:00

Very well said. Mamat Anwar Hadi ni cool la (bagi aku la). For more of his videos, click here.

Try.

2011-01-19T06:28:00.002+08:00

Someone asked me to cover this song.

So this is my cover. Susah ok nak nyanyi sebab bila nyanyi lagu lelaki the key is either too high or too low. So ni aku nyanyi key rendah sebab kalau tinggi jadi tinggi sangat jadi annoying la pulak. Hoho. So here goes.

Takde la teruk sangat kan? Ke camne? :D

p/s: Nama lagu ni 'Try' by Asher Book. Lagu ni actually soundtrack dari filem 'Fame'.

.

2011-01-06T22:41:00.003+08:00

Cool. Where can I get that bubble gun? I want one.

kuching, again.

2010-12-08T17:33:00.007+08:00

Camera: Holga 135BC
Film: Kodak Elitechrome iso berapa ntah. Lupa.
Process: Cross process.

Finally aku develop jugak gambar ni. Dah dekat setahun dah peram dalam laci. Btw, sori sebab lama gila tak update. Ni pun update gambar je. Jadilah kan.

p/s: Munie, tag awak tu saya tak sempat nak buat. Sekali dah expired dah. Sori ye. Don't worry saya ok ok je kat sini.

5-10-10

2010-11-12T07:36:00.005+08:00

awak di tag. sila buat. saya paksa. haha
-Ijan

Disebabkan saya kena paksa, jadi saya buat la tag ni. Hehe. Takdela, tak rasa terpaksa pun. Sebab at least ada jugak benda nak diupdate kan? So here goes.

1. Write 5 interesting facts about the person who gives u the award.
Eh ni award ke sebenarnya?

Seorang yang tabah.
Seorang yang pandai berjimat-cermat, tak boros macam aku.
Berumur 25 tahun. (eh perlu ke nak bagitau pasal umur haha)
Seorang pengumpul tupperware
Seorang karnivor (sebab tak makan sayur lol). Eh tapi dia makan nasi. Ok la dia omnivor, tapi tak makan sayur.

2. Write down 10 interesting facts about yourself & your hobby.
Wah banyak tu sampai 10 nak letak. Takpela, aku goreng je ye. Jangan marah kalau termengarut.

Dah lama gila tak pergi jumpa dentist. Gigi dah kuning gila lama tak scaling.
Pernah suka makan biskut Oreo tapi sekarang dah tak suka sebab Oreo sekarang manis gila bila makan kepala pening.
I'm celibate. I'm alone. And not proud of it. I'm just saying, you know.
Suka beli susu tapi tak minum sampai la susu tu expired.
Blood type: A +ve
Star sign: Gemini
I have an expensive hobby: lomography. Baru start & tak terer lagi.
I love reading. Especially novels. Currently reading "Wanderlust" by Danielle Steel.
I am not a very positive person. But I am undoubtedly very lucky. I am a very lucky person.
Seorang yang susah nak disiplinkan diri.

3. Pick your most 10 deserving recipients and describe them.
Okay, you know I'll never tag anyone right? Sebab aku jarang gila tag orang so aku rasa bila aku tag sesiapa mesti orang tu cakap aku buang tebiat. Aku memang suka fikir pelik-pelik, please don't mind me.

Sekian, terima kasih.

JDM?

2010-11-08T02:12:00.007+08:00

I don't like Jeffrey Dean Morgan. To those who are clueless who's Jeffrey Dean Morgan is, he is this guy:

Okay it's not like I know him personally to be able to dislike him, it's just that I don't like him, as an actor. I mean, I don't get why he always gets to play the hot guy in most of his works. I mean, he's Katherine Heigl's boyfriend in Grey's Anatomy and he slept with Hillary Swank in P.S. I love You. And he's not that hot. I always think he looks like a giant. He's tall and big and not to mention sometimes we can see his potruding belly. Maybe his smile is a little cute, but that doesn't automatically make him hot.

I don't know. Maybe it's just me. But seriously I don't think he's hot. Heck he's old for God's sake! I want to see him play granpa for once!

Okay that's all. End of rambling.

unwell

2010-11-06T16:22:00.004+08:00

I was down with fever yesterday. It was quite severe actually. I was shivering under my blanket for quite some time, to the point that I was almost delirious. I forced myself to take some panadols and after an hour or so the shivering was gone. When I was certain that I am strong enough to walk, I went to the clinic. The doctor prescribed the usual thing, paracetamol, antibiotics and some liquid for cough, which I never take because it usually makes me unexpectedly high.

So after 3 antibiotic pills, 3 paracetamols, 2 large bottles of 100 plus and 2 koolfever sheets, I feel much better now, although I still have to finish the antibiotics. The thing is, I rarely get sick. Although I live quite an unhealthy lifestyle (skipping breakfast, fast food, being nocturnal, lack of exercise etc) I am considered healthy. The last time I had a fever was 2 and a half years ago.

I remember as a child I was always sick. I had an asthma, and I can never go to sleep without applying some vicks vaporub on my chest. I remember I had to take medicines everyday until I was around 6 or 7. Then after that I rarely get sick.

I remember when I was 8, I had a strong fever, just like yesterday. I remember my mom fed me with pineapples, because she said if she had a fever, she always crave for pineapples. Then she asked me what I wanted to eat, and I said I want KFC. Back then in my hometown there were no KFC restaurants and the only restaurant that sells fried chicken is Frieda, if I'm not mistaken. So my mom took me to the restaurant and we ate fried chickens. The restaurant is not there anymore though.

So everytime I was down with fever, it will make me miss my mom. Yesterday after I went to the clinic, I went to search for pineapples at Taman Maju. But it was fruitless. So I end up buying KFC instead.

On a side note, my body was aching like mad yesterday. I never felt like that before. I mean everytime I got a fever, I will just feel giddy because of the increasing body temperature, but I never had body ache. I think it's because I'm getting old. Gah.

it hurts

2010-11-03T16:59:00.002+08:00

This mv is brilliant. Ala-ala Tim Burton gitu. Gothic yet stylish. Lagu dia pun best. Nak download la buat ring tone. Hehe. Actually nak post video yang ada english translation tapi bila aku search kat youtube tak jumpa pulak. Ada satu video tu tapi spastik sangat la pulak. Penuh tulisan sampai tak nampak gambar.

jumble rumble

2010-10-27T16:40:00.004+08:00

Dalam otak ada banyak sangat benda nak type. Tapi kalau jumble sekali dalam satu entri nanti macam tak best la pulak. Kalau nak divide-divide malas pulak rasanya. So lantak. Jumble jela semua dalam satu entri.

1) My biological clock is messed up yet again. Memang dah nocturnal betul dah aku rasa. Tak best la bila tak boleh bangun pagi. Hari ni konon-konon berusaha la nak repair balik biological clock aku. Semalam tido dua jam je lepas tu bangun terus takleh tido sampai siang. So aku berusaha la untuk tak tido siang, tapi terbabas jugak pukul 5 petang tadi tido. Tak tahan. So tak tau la malam ni boleh tido ke tak.

2) Aku baru perasan aku mudah tertarik dengan lelaki tinggi. I mean, tinggi yang sampai nak cakap dengan dia kena dongak. Dulu aku tak kisah la kalau lelaki tu tak berapa tinggi, asal tinggi dari aku sudah la. Tapi sekarang kalau tinggi setakat 10cm je dari aku aku dah rasa tak best dah. Tak hensem takpe asal tinggi. Tapi yang aku perasan jugak, lelaki tinggi macam tu memang susah nak cari. Haha. Kat UTP ni ada la sorang (yang aku notice), tapi hari tu aku nampak dia kat convofair pegang bunga 1 bouquet terus kecewa. Sebab assume dia nak bagi bunga tu dekat girlfriend dia. Haha berangan. Cakap dengan mamat tu tak sampai 5 kali boleh pulak nak kecewa kan. LOL.

3) Sekarang aku macam selalu dok sorang-sorang. Sebabnya aku kan nocturnal, so bila aku jaga semua orang dah tido. Haha.

4) Aku baru beli perfume baru. Tapi aku serius main randomly pick je perfume apa. Yela, beli kat internet, camne nak test bau kan. Aku baca review dia sikit-sikit terus aku beli. Sekali bila pakai tak best pun bau dia. Maybe bukan taste aku, tak pun memang tak kena dengan aku. Perfume kan memang macam tu, kita bau kat badan orang sedap, tapi bila pakai sendiri tak sedap lak bau dia. Dulu pernah jugak beli online tapi masa tu nasib baik kena bau dia. Lepas ni kena beli kat kaunter la, nanti membazir lagi duit aku.

5) Ok sekarang baru aku perasan entri aku ni pointless. Haha. Takpela dah type publish jela. Sebenarnya banyak nak update tapi baru type sepatah dua terus tekan butang backspace. Bukannya apa, my blog is no longer a place that I can escape myself from the world anymore. Enough said.

p/s : picture taken from loveyourchaos.tumblr.com

life as we know it

2010-10-21T21:06:00.006+08:00

I know I'm not so much of a blogger now. Jarang sangat update, but what to do. Takde apa yang menarik untuk diupdate. Lately life has been the same, nothing much happened. Tapi hari ni nak update sebab..sebab..sebab..skrin laptopku dah elok!! Haha! Dah pergi repair tadi kat Yik Foong. Well technically bukan repair la, tukar lcd yang baru terus. Habis duit RM550. Now that's a big hole in my pocket, you know!

Tadi lepas dah siap 'merawat' laptop, rasa nak makan sushi pulak. So pergi la Jusco, sebab situ ada Sushi King. Ramai yang cakap Sushi King takleh makan kan, tapi sekarang dia dah letak notice kat each table sushi mana yang contain alkohol. So takde masalah la kan, makan jela sushi yang tak beralkohol. Dah tu pulak, makan masa happy hour, so dapat la diskaun 20%.

Dah kenyang makan sushi rasa nak gi tengok wayang pulak. Ingat nak tengok 'Eat, Pray, Love', since Julia Robert's in it. Tapi tak tayang pulak kat TGV Ipoh ni. Hampeh betul. Selalu camtu tau. Dulu time nak tengok Sherlock Holmes pun dia tak tayang jugak. Sedih betul la dok pedalaman ni (statement yang tak mengenang budi, padahal asal dari Besut je. Haha).

Last-last aku tengok 'Life As We Know It'. Sebab cast dia macam best jugak. Ada Josh Duhamel & Katherine Heigl. Expectation tak tinggi sangat la, sebab memang tak tau satu apa pun pasal movie ni. Bantai je tengok. Surprisingly, movie ni not bad jugak la. Aku ingat macam typical romantic comedy je storyline dia. Tapi okay la. Aku malas nak type so aku copy and paste jela sinopsis dia:

Holly Berenson (Katherine Heigl) is an up-and-coming caterer and Eric Messer (Josh Duhamel) is a promising network sports director. After a disastrous first date, the only thing they have in common is their dislike for each other and their love for their goddaughter, Sophie. But when they suddenly become all Sophie has in the world, Holly and Messer are forced to put their differences aside. Juggling career ambitions and competing social calendars, they’ll have to find some common ground while living under one roof.

So basically cerita dia pasal diorang kena jaga goddaughter diorang sebab parents budak tu meninggal. Mula-mula aku rasa lame jugak cerita ni, sebab ada ke orang pilih kawan untuk jadi guardian anak diorang in case jadi pape. Dah la kena duduk sekali pulak tu. Tapi biasa la, cerita kan, fiction je pun. Tapi towards the end movie ni macam heartwarming jugak la, sebab ada tema kekeluargaan kan. Sebak la jugak aku masa tu. Nasib baik tak nangis. Haha over gila kalau sampai nak nangis kan. Drama gila. And then budak yang berlakon jadi Sophie tu pandai gila berlakon ok. Padahal kecik je lagi, baby lagi. Dahla comel gila, rasa nak penyek-penyek je. Haha suka hati nak penyek anak orang.

Lepas dah habis movie tu aku balik terus, sebab drive sorang-sorang kan, takut la pulak nak balik malam-malam. Masa tu dah pukul 5.30. Nasib baik sempat sampai UTP before maghrib.

So tu jela update aku hari ni. I know, I know, mesti korang pelik kan aku buat semua ni sorang-sorang. Tapi percayalah (OMG lagu Tokti dah keluar haha!), aku memang dah biasa jalan sorang-sorang, tengok movie sorang-sorang. Family aku pun tau pasal ni. Dah dah I know it sounds pathetic but aku suka macam ni. Nak wat camne. Heh.

K la nak mandi, dah gatal-gatal dah badan ni.

*picture & synopsis are googled.

p/s: rupa-rupanya budak yang jadi Sophie tu triplets. baru google tadi. hehe

mystery

2010-10-18T03:14:00.004+08:00

I think this is brilliant. The dance, I mean.

I love the head spinning part.

p/s: Of course I love the guys too. They are too hot to not to love. :D

2010-10-04T00:40:00.002+08:00

sometimes i fear for the human in me. because i can feel myself turning into some sort of a monster now. an ugly ignorant monster.

life is just too great.

2010-09-22T16:48:00.004+08:00

sorry i've deleted my previous post. because like paulo coelho said, "writing is like getting yourself naked in public" or something like that. and i don't want to be naked for so long. haha. seriously i just felt 'geli geleman' when i read my previous post. so yeah, when i feel like puking while reading my own blog entry, it means that the entry must be deleted. so to those who have already read my previous already deleted entry, congratulations! you're very lucky to see me naked for a while (haha as usual please don't take it literally). till then, bye!

raya raya raya

2010-09-21T20:06:00.004+08:00

Ok saya tau saya sangat terlambat untuk update kisah raya saya. Tapi tak kisah la, better late than never. Hari raya tahun ni rasanya hari raya yang paling best setakat saya dah dewasa ni. Mungkin sebabnya kerana ada pertambahan ahli kelaurga baru (kakak ipar ye, anak ipar belum lagi). Selain dari tu, tahun ni la tahun paling sakan saya beraya dengan kawan-kawan. Sebelum ni saya jarang nak bertandang ke rumah kawan-kawan untuk beraya, tapi tahun ni saya suka bertandang ke rumah kawan-kawan walaupun mereka tak bagi duit raya pun. Dan mungkin juga tahun ni best sebab saya cuti lama. Seminggu sebelum raya saya dah cuti jadi sempat la buat biskut raya 3 jenis dan sebiji cheese cake sebelum raya. Haha. Saya rasa membuat 3 jenis biskut raya tu sudah sesuatu yang membanggakan bagi saya. Hari raya tahun ni juga adalah hari raya yang paling padat dengan aktiviti jika dibandingkan dengan raya-raya sebelum ini. Ini ialah jadual raya saya:

Hari Raya Pertama
Macam biasa la hari raya pertama mesti balik rumah Nenek punya. Tapi kali ni lain sikit sebab balik rumah Nenek sebelah petang, sebelah pagi kami beraya di rumah dulu. Dan juga di rumah Che. (note: Che ialah nenek belah mak, Nenek ialah nenek belah ayah). First time makan juadah raya di pagi 1 syawal di rumah sendiri after so many years.

Hari Raya Kedua
Kami buat open house sikit-sikit. Yang tak open sangat pun. Kecil-kecilan je, tapi ramai jugak yang datang. Kebanyakannya kawan-kawan adik dan juga student mama saya. Saudara mara pun ada juga yang datang. Mama saya masak soto. Sedap tau soto mama saya masak. Hehe.

Hari Raya Ketiga
Ayah Long saya buat kenduri sikit. Kenduri housewarming atau kalau kat kampung saya orang panggil kenduri "naik rumah". Tapi saya stay kejap je masa ni. Duduk dua jam lepas tu balik. Nak tolong-tolong pun dah ramai yang tolong. Haha. Alasan padahal diri sendiri pemalas.

Hari Raya Keempat
Pulang ke rumah Nenek lagi sebab Cik Ngah saya buat kenduri aqiqah untuk cucu dia. Masa ni saya rajin la tolong-tolong sebab takut kena laser. Haha. Takdela, saya ikhlas tolong-tolong. Bukan kerja susah sangat pun, potong-potong degan susun-susun je. Petangnya kami ke kenduri kat rumah makcik belah mama saya pulak.

Hari Raya Kelima
Beraya rumah nenek saudara. Rumah dia ada pokok buah mata kuching. Jadi kami yang jakun ni sempat bergambar dengan buah mata kuching fresh yang baru dpetik dari pokok. Selepas itu kami menziarahi nenek angkat saya yang tengah operate di Hospital Raja Perempuah Zaharah (?). Tak pasti sangat nama hospital tu tapi hospital tu di Kota Bharu, Kelate. Lepas tu kami pergi makan nasi mandi di restoran A.M. Tarbush. Malam tu jugak kami celebrate birthday mama yang dah belated beberapa hari.

Hari Raya Keenam
Kami (saya, abang, kakak ipar, & adik) masak laksa sarawak. Walaupun first time buat sendiri tapi sedap betul rasanya. Rasa macam nak makan lagi. Mama cakap tahun depan bolehlah masak laksa sarawak untuk jamuan raya. Petang tu saya bertandang ke rumah Munie. Dapat jugak jumpa kawan-kawan & makan jeruk kelubi yang sedap. Selepas selesai beraya di rumah munie saya ajak kawan-kawan beraya di rumah saya pula.

Hari Raya Ketujuh
Sebelah paginya saya pergi beraya di rumah kawan-kawan. Rumah pertama rumah Atin, 2nd rumah Elira, 3rd pergi rumah Wani tapi tak naik rumah dia. Just jemput dia sebab lepas tu nak beraya ke rumah Baiyah pula. Tapi saya tak stay lama di rumah Baiyah sebab ayah saya dah call suruh balik sebab nak ke rumah Sue (makcik saya) pula.

Hari Raya Kelapan
Disebabkan nak habiskan nasi himpit yang terlebih-lebih, saya masak kuah lodeh dan sambal sotong dan juga sambal bilis untuk dimakan bersama nasi himpit. Ye, saya yang masak. Mama & ayah ada la tolong sikit-sikit. Mama ada juga masak rendang ayam. Sedap juga saya masak (haha masuk bakul angkat sendiri). Malamnya saya bake kek coklat sebab adik bongsu saya nak bawa balik sekolah dia untuk jamuan raya sekolah.

Hari Raya Kesembilan
Hari ni saya bake kek coklat lagi sebiji sebab nak bawa balik utp. Malamnya saya naik bas balik utp. Tapi sebelum saya naik bas, dapat berita nenek angkat saya dah takde. So lepas hantar saya naik bas, mama & ayah saya cepat-cepat pergi ke hospital.

Hari Raya Kesepuluh
Saya sudah berada di UTP. Life resumes.

Ok selesai sudah diari raya saya. Kesimpulannya raya tahun ni saya beraya dengan bersungguh-sungguh. Saya tak sempat pun nak rilek-rilek tidur petang kat rumah. Sebab saya asyik beraya je. Tahun ni tak penat sangat sebab saya ada kakak ipar yang banyak menolong di dapur. Heheh.

Saya harap belum terlambat lagi bagi saya untuk mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya kepada semua yang mengenali saya. Mintak maaf zahir dan batin. Halalkan juga makan minum saya. Jom kita raya lagi selagi bulan Syawal masih ada. Kalau ada open house jangan lupa jemput saya ye. Saya dengan tak malunya akan berusaha datang untuk menghabiskan makanan di rumah anda. Hehe.

p/s: Ok saya tipu ada la sekali saya tidur petang. Tu pun sebab letih sangat beraya dan tak tahan mengantuk. Hehe. Bila baca balik post ni baru perasan banyak typo. Takpela anda semua redha jela ye, saya malas nak betulkan. Hehe.

FNJ sila baca post ni kalau tak baca siap kau.

2010-08-21T18:04:00.003+08:00

This post is specially dedicated to Farah aka FNJ.

Nah. Kau suka kan mamat Nishikido Ryo tu. Hot la pulak aku tengok dia main gitar. Haha.

things that you might not know about me.

2010-08-19T15:15:00.002+08:00

I know I am not a very warm person. Although I love to be alone, but sometimes I do need company. Although I am quite independent, sometimes it's a relief to have someone around me. I know I am not as friendly as others, but I don't like to pretend to be friendly just because you wanted me to.

I am me.

I admit I am very much unpredictable. So I understand if sometimes you may get tired of me. But that doesn't mean you can diss me as you please. No, please don't do that to me. Although I don't show it, but I do feel hurt. I choose to not show my emotions because I don't want something bad happen between us. I don't want us to fight. Therefore I choose to remain silent.

I know I am not as good as others, but please bear in mind that I have emotions too. Just like you.

strange kid singing.

2010-08-16T13:08:00.002+08:00

Rasa macam nak lempang kan? Jumpa video ni kat tubelawak. Aku rasa dia ni lelaki kerdil la, bukan budak-budak. Sebab hidung dia besar. Hehe.

tag dalam bahasa melayu apedia eh?

2010-08-13T18:07:00.003+08:00

Si comel dan spongebob.

Ye, hari ni hari melangsaikan hutang tag. Ada satu je. Cik Nadia yang bagi. Sebenarnya nak pegi bazar ramadhan tapi langit sedang menangis dengan sayunya, so tunggu la kejap sementara dia berhenti menangis. Sambil-sambil tu layan tag ni kejap.

1) Adakah anda happy sekarang?
There's a fine line between happy and unhappy. I'm at that fine line.

2) Apakah benda yang boleh membuat anda happy?
Duittttttttttttttt!!!! Hahaha dasar materialistik. Takde ah, aku pun tak tau la apa yang boleh buat aku happy sekarang. Maybe ayam percik mak aku kot. Oh nak balik umah!!!

3) Pernahkah anda menerima tag?
Pernah. Eh tag ni tak konsisten betul. Tadi tanya pasal happy sekarang tanya pasal tag pulak. lol.

4) Nyatakan warna yang anda suka.
Macam dah pernah jawab soalan ni. Hmm. Takpela jawab jela sekali lagi. Pink, kelabu, cobalt blue, maroon, hitam.

5) Berikan 9 orang yang anda mahu tag. Sila beritahu kepada orang yang anda mahu tag supaya dapat respond.
Sori la, memang habit aku tak suka tag orang. So aku taknak tag sesape.

6) Nyatakan sesuatu tentang orang yang anda tag. Nak tulis panjang berjela pun xpe, asalkan anda happy.
Okay ni ade kesinambungan tema happy tu balik. Malangnya nak nyatakan camne sebab aku tak tag sesape pun. Huhu.

Dah itu aje. Bazar ramadhan memanggil-manggil tapi apakan daya langit masih menangis. Pergi kafe jela jawabnya. Huuu.

please pray for me.

2010-08-12T12:56:00.005+08:00

Ok. I don't know how to start this. I know this will probably be shocking for you guys. But anyway, I'm not going to write anything but the truth. I've bottled this up for so long, and now I think I can't handle it anymore. I have to write this somehow.

This is about my personal life, or more specifically, my studies. You know I'm currently doing my MSc right now, but to tell you the truth, I've been stuck in the "blackhole of unproductivity" for months. I know this sounds really bad for a MSc student who is doing research. I don't know why, I think maybe I am not fit mentally to do research. You know when you're doing a research, you have to RE-search, eventhough you've met with various blind ends already. I am a person who does not like to do redundant things. Redundancy is something I despise. And when you're researching, redundancy is a thing that might occur many times, wether you like it or not.

Research needs you to be patient, and you have to multitask all the time. It's not like I cant multitask, it's more like I don't want to multitask anymore. I am sick, and tired of having to multitask all the time. I don't have the patience, and the diligence to multitask anymore.

Initially, I wanted to further my study and do MSc because I am not ready to work yet, and I think if I have a MSc degree I will have a bigger pay when I eventually start to work. That is the reasons why I want to have a MSc degree. Well, people said, if you want to do something, you must do it for yourself, not for anything or anyone else. I'm not doing this solely because I want myself to gain more knowledge, but for other reasons. Niat dah tak betul, sebab tu la jadi macam ni.

Of course, I am not going to quit doing MSc, I will try my best to complete it. Because I am a person who will try to finish anything that I've started. I will try to "perbetulkan my niat", and do this for myself.

My advice to those who wants to further their degree, please think thoroughly before making the decision. Because, whether you like it or not, you'll not be facing beds of roses all the time. Quite sometimes you'll meet with some walls, or holes, or anything equivalent, especially when you're doing a research. So to those who wants to do MSc just for the sake of getting a MSc degree, my advice is DON'T.

To those who reads this, please pray for me. I desperately need it. To my family and friends, please give me some moral support. That will help me so much. Thank you.

nak perasan lagi boleh?

2010-08-12T12:34:00.003+08:00

Susah payah aku uploadkan video ni. Nak upload kat youtube takleh, kat dailymotion pun dah takleh. UTP dah makin strict dah skarang. Tak faham aku. Tengok video boleh, tapi nak upload video takleh. Kedekut betul. Terpaksa aku upload kat zoopy. Nasib baik boleh.

Sebenarnya takde la best sangat suara aku masa ni. Maklumla penyanyi amatur. Ada some notes yang goyang, and almost all the time I'm breathy. Ni sebab nyanyi tahan-tahan takut orang bilik sebelah dengar. Haha. Tapi takpela, nak perasan sekali-sekala apa salahnya kan.

Seperti biasa, kualiti video macam hampeh sebab upload dengan digicam biasa je. Wajah si penyanyinya juga seperti biasa, rahsia. Haha.

Ni entri kurang serius la, sebelum entri serius yang akan menyusul sebentar nanti. Wow ayat macam dalam tv. Haha.

p/s: Ntahpape la upload video camni pulak time puasa ni. Patutnya upload la video baca quran ke ape ke. Baru sesuai. Adoi.

salam ramadhan.

2010-08-11T13:56:00.005+08:00

Selamat menyambut ramadhan al mubarak. Quoting my father, "Sama-samalah kita rebut bonus yang diberikan Allah di bulan ini".

Selamat berpuasa. Jangan gastrik je manjang. Tak baik. Hehe.

Nah jadual berbuka n imsak. Tapi untuk negeri Perak je. Sebab saya dok kat Perak.

Jadual Waktu Berbuka Puasa dan Imsak 2010

a complex human being I am

2010-08-02T22:23:00.003+08:00

Ok. So this is a very random update.

1. I have another day of puasa ganti to do tomorrow. And then I'm free, until next week that is. Next week kan dah Ramadhan. Teruk betul aku ni. Last minute baru nak ganti puasa.

2. I don't feel so good with myself lately. Banyak sangat konflik diri. Haha. I know, I know, aku memang emo.

3. Tengah pening kepala fikir pasal nak repair laptop. Kalau LCD yang rosak matikk la gua!! Mahal beb nak repair.

4. Pening lagi sebab fikir nak format bb. Mana ntah nak format. Format sendiri tak reti lak. Lepas tu nak belajar format sendiri malas. Hantar kedai la jawabnya.

5. Sekarang tengah gila tengok random people cover lagu-lagu pennyanyi terkenal (wtf penyanyi terkenal? lol!) kat youtube. Ni semua Jenny Suk punya pasal. Hoho. Eh gelak macam santa lak. Ok ok tak kelakar.

7. Eh dah masuk point no 7. Dah banyak ni. Patut berenti dah ni. Haha.

Ok la tu je nak update. Sorry la macam sampah je aku rasa entri ni. Tapi disebabkan takde idea, sampah pun sampah la. Lagi satu sorry la sebab dah jarang-jarang update. Sebabnya sekarang selalu sangat emo. Kang kalau update nanti entri penuh dengan kata-kata kesat lak. Sebab tu la aku tak update sampai la mood aku stabil balik. Eleh yang aku beriya mintak maaf ni apsal? Macam la ramai sangat tunggu aku update. Followers pun baru 14 orang. Podachit.

K la, nak layan Placebo. Sebagai penutup tengok la gambar sister ngan bekmeng tengah layan game apentah. Bai.

*Picture taken here.

you make me wanna say oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh my gosh!

2010-07-24T20:27:00.004+08:00

Ok so today I decided to post something fun. Hehe.

Baru-baru ni, kawan aku Shanim a.k.a Bubuk post video ni kat facebook. And I was hooked.

Before this aku tak pernah nak layan kalau dengar lagu ni kat radio. Kalau radio main lagu ni mesti aku tukar radio lain. Sebab ape jadah asyik sebut oh my gosh je kan. Baik tak yah nyanyi. Haha. Tapi bila dengar Jenny Suk punya version aku rasa lagu ni best la pulak dengar. Layan la jugak.

And so I decided to sing my very own version of this song.

P1020013
Uploaded by aziy225. - See the latest featured music videos.

Nah. Haha. Disebabkan aku takde gitar (kalau ada pun tak reti nak main), aku guna minus one yang ada kat youtube jela. Pastu sori tak dapat nak tunjuk muka, biasala, saya kan pemalu. Hehe. Pastu sori kualiti video macam hampeh sebab guna digicam biasa je. Pastu skrin laptop kelip-kelip sebab rosak. Yang part last-last tu aku dah tak reti nak nyanyi, so aku bantai jek.

Dah tu je. Kalau korang rasa post ni tak fun sori lah ye.

solitaire

2010-07-18T00:27:00.002+08:00

right now.

2010-07-17T02:39:00.004+08:00

dude, who the hell are you?

2010-07-16T16:28:00.002+08:00

I don't know if you're the same guy I knew before
Or maybe I don't even know u at all
When you're not feeling too well,
I'm your go-to girl.

But now, what happen dude?
It's like I don't know you anymore.

yawn~~

2010-07-13T23:33:00.003+08:00

Greetings earthlings.

Sorry for the almost-a-month hiatus. I'm not that busy, but I don't have anything to write. Otak kosong. Well, it's the usual writer's block. Biasala tu kan.

I'm determined to write a serious entry about brand concious people right now, but well, I don't know if I can write well tonight. But I'll try my best.

I don't wear branded clothes. I am not a brand concious person. I know their quality are good, but somehow I don't get it when people are trying so hard to dress themselves in these so called high end branded clothes when they obviously cannot afford such luxury. Okay, maybe they can afford it, but what's the point of wearing those designer clothes if your current asset is just a national car? Sounds not right isn't it?

In my opinion, I'd rather buy a house, a *ahem* rather branded car, and have a big fat savings in my bank account. After I have all those, then only I'll consider buying those designer clothes. But that's just my opinion. You don't have to agree with that if you don't want to.

After all, wearing branded clothes don't buy you class. It will all comes back to your status. I mean, if you're a CEO of a well-known company, or a big name in a certain field, if you wear fake designer item people will say you wear the real thing. I think you get my point, right?

I have nothing against designer clothes, or people who are wearing them. But I think it's not good to be brand concious when you can do a lot more things that is more beneficial with your money. Like helping your family, perhaps?

Okay I think I'm starting to sound bitter now, so I'll stop before this negative vibe gets me. Till then, see you next time. OMG I suck big time when I end an entry. But who cares. Bye.

...

2010-06-24T16:04:00.003+08:00

When I woke up this morning, hearing the birds chirp, looking at the blue sky with cotton candy like clouds, I thank God I'm alive. I know I complained too much before, but today I realized, I'm very lucky just to be alive and I need to appreciate what I have now.

in the mood for LOVE?

2010-06-11T00:30:00.005+08:00

Haha title tak boleh blah. Sebenarnya nak post music video ni je.

Best la lagu ni. Melody dia sangat infectious. Walaupun kadang-kadang dengar macam dia sebut "crap crap crap" instead of "clap clap clap" (LOL!) tapi best la lagu ni. Dengan muka lead vocalist dia yang kerek-senyum-kerek balik, dengan suara mamat yang main gitar belah kanan tu yang heavenly, semua best la. Hehe. Muka yang jambu tu kira bonus la. Nak jugak sebut pasal muka jambu. Haha. Tapi satu je yang aku tak suka, part dia buat "microphone check" tu. Like, hello? Perlu ke? Mencacatkan lagu je. Tapi nak wat camne kan K-pop punya lagu mesti nak ada part-part rap bagai. Cool kot bagi diorang.

K lah, enjoy the video. Jangan tak caye aku pun layan K-pop jugak. Haha.

cameron highland

2010-06-09T17:40:00.019+08:00

Jalan-jalan kat cameron highland dengan kawan-kawan. Gambar tak banyak pun. Malas nak letak caption.

.

2010-06-08T13:52:00.003+08:00

Semalam baru selesai presentation untuk simposium. Sebab tu la before ni takde update, sebab tengah busy nak prepare untuk simposium tu. Lepas tu minggu depan ada conference pulak dekat KLCC. Weekend ni kena shopping beli kasut sebab takde kasut nak pakai masa conference nanti.

Sekarang asal aku tidur je mesti mimpi pelik-pelik. Bukan nightmare la, tapi pelik. Macam mimpi kawan aku masuk askar la, mimpi pergi Paris la. Haha. Imaginasi tinggi betul. Masa a day before simposium tu aku fikir banyak sangat sampai aku mimpi pasal research masa tidur malam tu. Ok tu tak pelik la kan. Kadang-kadang aku pelik kenapa masa before tidur aku akan berfikir banyak sangat. Sampai aku kena remind diri aku yang masa tu waktu untuk tidur, so takleh fikir banyak. Tapi tu la, kadang-kadang takleh elak. Mesti akan berfikir. Sebab tu la kot aku asyik mimpi pelik-pelik.

Tadi ada baca blog Chics, pasal personality traits dari jenis darah. Aku pun baca la website yang di'link'kan kat entri dia tu. Ni aku copy sikit dari openzine.com.

'TYPE A'
Type As most often described themselves in ways related to the following characteristics: sensitive to the needs of others, good listeners, detail oriented, analytical, creative and inventive. Type As may seem calm on the outside, but inside, you’re filled with anxiety and worry. You’re perfectionists and often shy and sensitive. Usually introverted, you’re stable and thoughtful. You make good listeners and are sensitive to color and your surroundings. You like to be fashionable and are up on the latest trends, but never flashy or gaudy. You like romantic settings and often shun reality for fantasy worlds. A is most compatible with A and AB in the love department. Common career choices: accountant, librarian, economist, writer, computer programmer, and gossip columnist.

Blood Type A - Tend to be cooperative, sensitive, clever, passionate and smart. Often bottling up anxiety in order to get along with others, they may hold in their emotions until they explode. Many are tense, impatient and unable to sleep well. While they are capable of leadership positions, they may not take them because the stress is not good for their tightly wired systems.

Hmm.. Patut la. Memang aku susah nak tidur pun. Tapi kan yang aku tak puas hati dia cakap orang yang blood type A ni fashionable and up to the latest trends, tapi common career choice computer programmer & librarian. Kontra gila. But then again, kita tak boleh generalize kan. Mana tau memang ada programmer & librarian yang trendy kan?

Ok lah lepas ni aku nak try apply kerja jadi gossip columnist la. Bakat dah ada dah. Hahaha.

gemuk.

2010-06-03T03:07:00.003+08:00

Pernah tak korang kena ejek sebab fizikal korang? Bila aku tgk video Fynn yang ni, aku rasa macam kesian sangat kat dia. Sebagai seorang budak kecik yang tak tau apa-apa dia dah dikeji, semua hanya kerana fizikal dia yang tak comel macam kanak-kanak lain. Semua tu yang buat jiwa dia, dari kecik lagi dah rabak. Dan sekarang aku rasa dia jadi seorang yang sangat perasa, disebabkan kisah masa silam dia tu. Aku tak tau dia personally, tapi aku baca blog dia, aku tengok video dia, dan aku rasa dia seorang yang sangat sensitif. Sangat emosional, if I should say.

Aku dulu tak pernah dikeji disebabkan fizikal aku, sebab kecik-kecik dulu aku memang kecik. Bila dah besar baru la badan aku membesar bagaikan juara. Haha. So aku rasa aku tak rabak sangat la macam Fynn. Tapi aku dulu pernah jugak kena ejek sebagai 'budak takde mak', sebab mak aku sambung belajar masa aku umur 11 tahun. Aku tak tau la kenapa diorang ejek, tapi aku rasa maybe sebab cemburu. Aku bukan nak masuk bakul angkat sendiri, tapi aku dulu masa sekolah rendah selalu je dapat nombor satu masa periksa. So aku rasa budak-budak yang ejek aku tu ejek sebab diorang jeles aku ni lagi pandai dari diorang.

Tapi tu semua tak adala membawa impak yang besar sangat dalam hidup aku. Aku tak tau la kenapa, maybe sebab masa kecik-kecik dulu aku hati kering kot. Takde perasaan. So aku ignore je apa orang nak kata. Yang penting aku lagi pandai dari diorang.

Sekarang pulak situasi aku lain. Aku sekarang dah 'besar' kan (literally speaking). Haha ok la fine. Aku sekarang dah gemuk. And kalau orang yang dah lama tak jumpa aku mesti akan terkejut bila tengok aku sekarang. Aku pun tak tau kenapa, aku nak kata makan banyak, aku makan macam manusia normal makan. Maybe lack of exercise, dan stress pun menyumbang kot. Aku tak sure sangat. Lagi satu maybe sebab faktor keturunan. If you think I'm fat, you should meet the rest of my extended family. It's in our genes. Nak buat macam mana kan. I know, kalau aku diet and exercise aku boleh je nak kurus, sebab aku pernah diet and turun 5 kg dalam sebulan. Tapi sekarang dengan jadual kerja yang pack, aku tak sempat la.

Aku admit la, fizikal aku ni kadang-kadang membuatkan aku rasa rendah diri. Sampai kadang-kadang aku rasa aku takde boyfriend sebab aku gemuk. Siapa yang nak kan. Lelaki sekarang kan cuma pandang apa yang di luar je. Walaupun orang cakap beauty is only skin deep, tapi frankly speaking la kan, berapa ramai je yang fikir macam tu? Semua judge on what's on the outside je. Fine la aku tau first impression orang kat kita is judged based on our looks, but kalau rupa cantik perangai macam 'toot' pun tak guna kan?

Aku ada kenal dengan sorang ni, aku tak tau la dia ni obses nak cantik ke apa. Tapi dulu dia tak gemuk pun. Badan dia nak kata chubby pun tak. Tapi disebabkan nak cantik punya pasal (cantik ke? more to nak fit to the definition of cantik by our community nowadays ada la) dia sanggup sakitkan diri sendiri. Dia sanggup jadi bulimic. I don't know what's her reason for being bulimic, maybe sebab stress belajar, but I don't think so la. Aku rasa sebab dia nak cantik.

Come on la, siapa yang tak nak jadi cantik kan? But is it worth it? Aku rasa bukan dia tak tau what are the effects of being bulimic to her body, bukan setakat gigi boleh terhakis, boleh bawak mati jugak, tapi tu la. For the sake of being skinny, she abused her body. Tapi sekarang aku rasa dia tengah recover. At least that's what she said la. Hope it's the truth.

Aku bukan apa, aku rasa our community now is too superficial. Bukan aku nak complain orang ejek aku sebab aku gemuk ke apa. Tapi, you know, sekarang budak sekolah rendah pun dah reti diet kot. Did you get my point? Aku rasa baik jadi gemuk dari jadi ______ (insert apa-apa word yang tak berapa elok yang anda nak insert). Sebab kalau gemuk boleh kurus, kalau ______ tak leh nak buat apa dah. Betul tak?

Sekarang ni aku tengah contemplate nak publish ke tak entry ni sebab banyak sangat benda yang sensitif yang bakal ganggu jiwa raga sesetengah pihak, tapi, what the heck. Publish jela. Aku pun dah ngantuk ni.

What an awesome way to end a blog entry, kan?. End.

tagged: rahsia

2010-05-26T22:20:00.003+08:00

Cik Nadia ni betul-betul la rajin mengetag. Hehe. Mekasih ye Nadia sebab tag. Boleh aku jawab buat isi masa lapang. Tag ni pasal rahsia. Eh, aku ada rahsia ke? Ada la. Everybody has skeletons in their closet. Ok la, without further ado, jom jawab tag rahsia ni.

1) 3 names in your message inbox
-Sue
-Addin
-Fuad
(Aku taknak cakap siapa diorang-diorang ni. Kata rahsia. Haha)

2) Your main ringtone
Pakai ringtone default blackberry je. Sebab media card problem, semua lagu yang save dah hilang.

3) What you did at 12 last night?
Masih bertapa depan laptop.

4) Who was the last person you went out with? Where?
Ijan. Pergi dinner kat Restoran Tomyam Family. Ha amek. Detail aku bagitau.

5) The colour of t-shirt you're wearing now.
Eh macam tau-tau je aku pakai t-shirt. Kaler hitam.

6) The last thing you did
Before aku type entri ni ke? Tengok Apple Girl nyanyi lagu Poker Face kat Youtube.

7) 3 of your everyday favourite items
-laptop
-blackberry
-er, kereta aku kot? Tak tak, katil aku kot. Haha.

8) The colour of your bedroom
Dekat rumah kaler icy blue. Kat utp ni stended asrama la putih je.

9) How much money in your wallet now.
Hmm. RM48 dan beberapa sen. Ye saya tengah miskin sekarang.

10) How's life?
Same old. Nothing much.

11) Your favourite song:
Gravity by Sarah Bareilles. Subterranean Homesick Alien by Radiohead.

12) What will you do next weekend?
Maybe playing tourist in Melaka. Or get stucked in the lab. Either one is fine with me. (LOL that was a major fail lie).

13) When was the last time you see your mom?
Last monday.

14) Where is she now?
She's probably at home now, sleeping.

15) Who was the last person that talked with you last night?
Either my roommate or Ijan. Not sure. My roommate kot.

16) The last surprise you got?
Receiving the advanced birthday present from my roommate.

17) The last thing you borrowed from your friend?
Duit seringgit. Masa nak bayar makan tadi. Kakak jaga kaunter tu cakap dia takde duit kecik bila aku bagi RM50. So terpaksa pinjam duit Ijan seringgit sebab jumlah sume 5 ringgit tapi aku ada 4 ringgit je. Wah detailed explanation again. Hahahaha.

18) Who is your bf / gf / husband / wife?
I have neither one of them. I'm single and ready to mingle. Huhu.

19) What do you feel right now?
Bloated. Sebab minum banyak sangat.

20) Wanna share with who?
Share? Kan dah share tadi. Haha.

21) Who knows your secret?
Me, myself and I.

22) They keep your secret?
Yes I'm good at keeping ~~my own~~ secrets. Teheee.

23) Are you angry with someone?
At the time being, no.

24) Do you order at Mc'D?
Yes sir. I do, sir.

25) The last time you feel so sad?
A few days ago.

26) Mahu tag?
Tak mau. Thanks but no thanks. Hahahaha malas la labuuuu.

Dah. Setel. Em malas nak cek ada tak tertinggal soalan yang tak terjawab. Hahahahahahaha ok abang Donghae dah panggil ni. Sebagai penutup tengok la gambar yang takde kaitan dengan entri ni. Babai.

p/s: Picture is taken from here.

Kompang dipalu pengantin baru.

2010-05-26T14:24:00.014+08:00

Well sorry for the long hiatus. Aku balik rumah seminggu sebab abang aku kawen. Despite having internet connection kat rumah, aku takde masa nak update blog.

The fact that my brother is now married is not a surprise. I just feel indiferrent. Maybe because it was expected. I know he is going to get married someday. Because he's not the type who loves to play around, you know. He is a one woman man. Ok apakah aku melalut pasal abang aku pulak nih. The point is, aku rasa macam biasa je dapat kakak ipar sebab dia dengan abang aku dah lama plus aku sekelas dengan dia masa sekolah rendah dulu. At first memang la susah nak terima kawan kau jadi girlfriend abang kau, tapi lama-lama ok la. Dia pun perempuan yang baik, so I have nothing against it la. It's just that it felt weird at first.

Tapi tadi baru aku terfikir. Ok, dulu dia girlfriend abang aku, now dia KAKAK IPAR aku. It just hit me. Masa raya dia akan ada balik kampung sekali. Nanti anak dia jadi anak buah aku. Masa aku kawen mungkin dia jadi pengapit. Wah over tau. Hahaha. Tapi kan, warghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Dia dah jadi kakak ipar aku!!! Now I'm not indifferent anymore. Hahaha. Takpela. Nak wat camne. Dah jodoh. And I have some 'fitting the image in my head' to do now.

Ok let's talk about the wedding, can we? Abang aku nikah on 19th of May, lepas Isyak. Dua kali lafaz sebab first time tu tok kadi salah sebut. Apakah tok kadi nervous lebih ni kenapa? Hahahaha. Ada ke patut dia cakap mas kahwin 50 ribu. Aku pun takkan dapat banyak macam tu kot. Yang abang aku ni pulak memang tengah nervous, dia pun ikut jela apa tok kadi tu cakap. Hahaha. Majlis belah perempuan buat keesokan harinya. Tema masa ni warna merah putih. Well, kakak ipar aku suka merah.

Nilah dia tok kadi yang nervous tu..

The blushing bride..

Kat rumah pengantin perempuan. Pengantin antik pun nak sanding jugak? Hehe.

Masa makan beradab.

Majlis belah lelaki pulak buat on the 22nd of May (my birthday). Ni first time kenduri kat rumah. Ramai gila orang datang. Dari pukul 12 tengah hari sampai pukul 6 petang orang tak putus-putus datang. Lepas pukul 6 pun ada lagi yang datang tapi masa tu lauk dah habis la. Hidang apa yang ada je. Lauk pun takde yang membazir. Gulai daging licin, takde yang tinggal pun dalam kawah. Ramai sangat orang datang. Yela, anak sulung mesti ramai yang datang. Sebab first time buat kenduri kan.

Bawah ni semua gambar-gambar masa majlis kat rumah.

mama & ayah.

Adik aku belakon je tu. Mentang-mentang orang nak amek gambar.

Signboard tu aku yang buat. Cantik tak tulisan saya? Hahaha gedik.

Ayah hepi dapat menantu.

Gambar ni favourite aku, sebab rumah aku nampak cantik.

Pengantin perempuan sudah sampai..

Salam-salam.

Gambar kat mini pelamin yang tak berapa nampak.

Pengantin bergambar bersama saudara mara. Haha. Caption majalah wanita.

Kek pengantin. Saya tolong ikat riben kat stand dia je. Haha.

Motor ninja sepupu. Dia balik dengan motor ni semata-mata nak datang kenduri abang aku.

Nah amek. Semua pun nak bergambar.

Pengantin baru.

Abang aku ni boleh dikatakan bertuah jugak la. Sebab masa wedding dia ramai yang tolong. Tukang masak gulai kawan ayah aku, tukang buat kek kawan mak aku. Tukang masak nasi pakcik aku. Tukang buat nasi pengantin makcik aku. Semua tak payah bayar. Just bayar duit beli barang mentah je. Hadiah abang aku dapat berlambak-lambak. Boleh kata separuh living room kat rumah tu penuh dengan hadiah je. Photographer pulak abang sepupu aku. Gambar yang cantik-cantik masa majlis kat rumah tu semua dia yang amek. Banyak lagi sebenarnya gambar tu tapi malas nak upload banyak-banyak sebab internet macam siput. Maklumla, internet kat Malaysia ni kan lagi lembab dari Mozambique. Nak buat macam mana. Haihh.

Apa? Korang nak tengok gambar aku? Nah amek la gambar family sehelai. Haha.

my first birthday present of the year

2010-05-17T00:22:00.001+08:00

Beberapa hari lepas, tak ingat la hari apa, tengah aku seronok layan youtube tiba-tiba je roommate aku bagi kotak ni:

Isi dalam dia:

Ada body shop punya strawberry body polish dengan buku.

Jangan Bersedih-Jadilah Wanita yang Paling Bahagia - Dr. 'Aidh Bin' Abdullah Al-Qarni

Buku ni so far aku tak baca lagi. Tapi masa aku belek-belek kejap buku ni tadi kandungan dia macam menarik. Sesuai la untuk aku yang sedang mengalami mid 20s crisis ni.. Hehe.

Aku pelik la apsal dia bagi aku hadiah awal sangat sebab birthday aku lagi seminggu. Dia cakap dia malas nak tunggu lama-lama so dia bagi jela terus. Haha. Ada ke patut. Selalu orang bagi belated birthday present kan, tapi roommate aku bagi aku advanced birthday present.

Lepas tu tadi masa aku tengah layan drama 'Oh! My Lady' tiba-tiba dia bagi hadiah lagi.

Dia bagi mug yang ada tulis tarikh lahir aku. Adventurer ke aku ni?

Aku rasa macam, ish, kenapalah dia ni pemurah sangat bagi aku banyak hadiah. Lepas satu, satu. Dia cakap yang mug tu kebetulan dia pergi Living Cabin tadi dia ternampak pastu dia beli la. Dia beli satu untuk diri dia jugak. Tapi tula, aku terkejut jugak sebab aku jarang dapat hadiah masa birthday. Selalu mama je yang bagi hadiah kat aku, selain dari tu jarang la orang kasi hadiah. Selalu masa birthday aku kawan-kawan celebrate dengan kek je.

Aku tak kisah pun sebenarnya kalau tak dapat hadiah. Sebab it's the thought that counts. Wish pun dah cukup bagi aku.

Apa-apa pun aku nak cakap terima kasih banyak-banyak kat roommate aku, Didi (aku nak link pun tak boleh sebab dia takde blog) sebab bagi hadiah macam-macam. Walaupun aku ni bukan roommate yang baik tapi dia tetap jugak bagi hadiah. Baik hati betul dia tu. Huhu. Dah dah cukup dah jangan terharu lagi. Haha.

Kesimpulannya, kalau ada kawan-kawan aku yang baca post ni jangan lupa eh bagi hadiah masa birthday aku nanti. Haha. Takde la aku main-main je.

p/s: Kenapa entri aku semenjak dua menjak ni asyik ada perkataan 'haha' je eh? Hmm...

eh eh ada tag lah!

2010-05-16T06:34:00.004+08:00

Hmm. Lama betul tak layan tag. Rasa macam janggal lak nak jawab tag nih. Hehe takpela, I cuba jawab ye Nadia..

Tag ni pasal preferences kot. Ataupun benda-benda yang aku gemar. Hmm. Kenapa writer's block semakin menjadi-jadi ni? Ah lantak lah. Straight to the point lagi bagus.

MUSIC

Sebenarnya kan, semua aku layan. Asal tak sakit telinga dengar. Dari pop, jazz, folk, country, r&b, rock, semua la, kecuali hip hop. Sebab aku rasa hip hop ni macam bukan nyanyi sangat pun. Banyak bercakap je. Haha. Boleh tak macam tu. Rock pulak, boleh la sikit-sikit. Selalu aku layan Kings of Leon, Arctic Monkeys, Radiohead, Weezer, Kasabian and the like. Hahah. Metal aku kureng jugak, takbleh blah la. Rasa macam bingit je dengar. Avenged Sevenfold pun paling kuat aku bleh tahan pun lagu "Seize the Day" je.

MOVIE

Hmm semua aku layan sebenarnya. Tapi sekarang aku lagi prefer action movies. Chick lit pulak rasa macam tak minat dah sekarang. Tapi kadang-kadang layan jugak. Tengok mood. Favourite movie aku Juno, Into the Wild, The Kite Runner, The Prestige, macam-macam lagi la. Malas nak type banyak-banyak. Haha. Horror movie pun aku suka, tapi aku prefer tak tengok kat movie la, sebab nanti malu je asyik terjerit-jerit. Hilang macho. Haha.

FOOD

Semua aku suka la, tolak batu ngan kayu je. Haha. Tapi sekarang macam suka makan steamboat je. Kalau boleh tiap-tiap minggu nak makan steamboat. Tak tau la kenapa.

DRINKS

Aku suka minum teh o ais. Tak kisah la, teh o ais kosong ke, teh o ais limau ke, laici ke, semua aku suka.

FAVOURITE PAST TIME

Tengok wayang, karaoke, lomoghraphy, tido (haha), baca novel, surfing internet.

BOOKS

The Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Suns, Kafka on the Shore, To Kill a Mockingbird, Tell Me Your Dreams, Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl.

MAGAZINE

Semua pun aku baca. Dari Reader's Digest ke CLEO, dari National Geographic ke Junk. Macam-macam la. Aku tak memilih. Haha.

FAVOURITE LEPAKING PLACE

Atas katil. Takpun kat meja depan laptop. Seriously aku tak suka lepak sangat. Kalau keluar pun mesti ada tujuan. Samaada nak shopping ke, tengok wayang ke, karaoke ke. Kalau keluar semata-mata nak lepak tak pernah aku rasa. Kalau pergi mapley pun sebab nak makan nan cheese, bukan sebab nak lepak tengok bola. Haha. Saya dah tua la nak lepak-lepak tak tentu hala ni..

SPORTS

Err, boleh tak aku cakap aku tak main apa sport pun. Sebab takde athlete's bone pun dalam badan aku ni. Haha. Main apa pun semua hampeh. Tapi aku suka kayak. Tu kira sport jugak kan?

SUBJECTS

Err, subjek belajar ke? Kimia la, definitely. Bio pun suka gak.

IDOLS

Em, mama saya sebab walaupun dah beranak lima tetap pergi sambung degree. Ayah saya yang banyak berkorban jadi single parent masa mama saya sambung study.

COLOURS

Aku suka pink, hitam, kelabu & maroon.

FLOWER

Dulu aku pernah cakap kat seseorang aku suka gardenia. Sebab dia putih. Tapi aku dah tak suka mana-mana bunga dah sekarang. Tapi kalau nak bagi aku bunga bagi jela, aku terima je.

FRUITS

Aku suka mangga muda cicah dengan kuah petis!! Haha. Buah lain pun aku makan je. Tak memilih.

CARTOON

Aku suka gila Phineas and Ferb. Kelakar without being silly. Spongebob pun aku suka tapi kadang-kadang rasa macam too much je Spongebob ni.

Ni lah kartun yang saya suka tuu...

Ok la dah habis. Berpeluh-peluh jugak jawab tag ni. Lastly, taknak lah tag sape-sape. Sebab malas. Hehe.

Kthxbye.

ideality vs reality

2010-05-12T12:38:00.010+08:00

What exactly do you want to be in life? I, for one, want to be a very successful person. Get a good job, buy a house, own a car, get married, all before I reach 26. Sounds crazy, no?

What is the type of man you're going to marry? I prefer tall, dark and handsome kind of man. A degree holder. Oh, and he must have a good job, earns a very good salary, owns a nice car, dress accordingly, a thinker, smart, responsible, spontaneous, funny, witty, understanding, yada yada yada. The list will never stop.

LOL!

Well, that is all ideality, not reality. The reality is, I don't see how I can get all those I described earlier in two years time. Maybe I will be able to get a job by 26, but to get married? I don't think so. I'm not saying that it is not possible, because we don't know what God got in store for us. But, judging from what I am now, I think it is not yet possible. Well, I'm just trying to be realistic here.

The type of man I'm going to marry? Hmm, I would love to get a husband with those qualities, but again, who am I kidding? I don't think there's a man that is so perfect like that. I don't think a man like Adam in "Adamaya" really exist. Men like that are most probably gone to extinction decades ago, I guess. Wtf am I saying here? Gone to extinction? Is that gramatically correct? Whatever. You get my point, right?

I would like to quote a dialogue between Natalie Keener and Alex Goran from the movie "Up in the Air".

Natalie Keener: I thought I'd be engaged by now. I thought by 23, I'd be married, maybe have a kid, corner office by day, entertaining at night. I was supposed to be driving a grand cherokee by now.
Alex Goran: Well, life can underwhelm you that way.
Natalie Keener: Where did you think you'd be by err...?
Alex Goran: It doesn't work that way. At a certain point, you stop with the dead lines. It can be a little counter productive.
Natalie Keener: I don't want to say anything that is anti feminist. I really appreciate everything that your generation did for me.
Alex Goran: It was our pleasure.
Natalie Keener: Sometimes it feels like, no matter how much success I have, it's not gonna matter until I find the right guy. I could have made it work, he really fit the bill, you know. White collar, 6'1, college grad, loves dogs, likes funny movies, brown hair, kind eyes, works in finance but is outdoorsy. I always imagined he'd have a single syllable name like Matt or John or Dave. In a perfect world, he drives a 4 runner and the only thing he loves more than me is his golden lab. And a nice smile. What about you?
Alex Goran: You know, honestly by the time you're 34, all the physical requirements just go out the window. You secretly pray that he'll be taller than you, not an a.$$-hole would be nice just someone who enjoys my company, comes from a good family. You don't think about that when you're younger. Someone who wants kinds/ likes kids/wants kids. Healthy enough to play with his kids. Please let him earn more money than I do, you might not understand that now but believe me, you will one day otherwise that's a recipe for disaster. And hopefully, some hair on his head. I mean, that's not even a deal breaker these days. A nice smile. Yea, a nice smile just might do it.
Natalie Keener: Wow. That was depressing.

Well, that was indeed, very depressing. The fact that we can't always get what we wished for is totally depressing. But that's the truth. When I first watched this movie, particularly this scene, I thought that was spot on. At a certain point, you have to stop with the deadlines. You just have to move on and appreciate what you have. Whether it is ideal or not, we just have to accept, because that's the reality.

I'll just pray that my life will turn out ok one day. It's not that it's not ok nowadays, but I hope the future will be better. I will not necessarily be filthy rich, but I hope I will be stabile financially, and will be able to provide all the necessary things to my kids (if I have any) and to be able to live a happy life with my family and friends. That's all I pray for.

As for my life partner, I will not ask for much. I hope he just fits me. That's all. I will try to accept him as he is, because I'm only human. I also have my weaknesses.

p/s : Up in the Air quote is from imdb.com
p/p/s: Picture is googled.

creep

2010-05-10T15:37:00.004+08:00

by radiohead.

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run... run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

p/s: sori tak dapat post original music video. reason being, embedding disabled by request. tapi yang ni pun ok jugak, ada johnny depp. hehe.

is this one of my mid 20s crisis?

2010-05-03T16:54:00.005+08:00

When everyone around you is married or engaged, or at least in a very serious relationship, do you start to panic? I know I do.

My brother is getting married in 17 days. Yes. My brother. Is getting married. With my friend. And yes, my friend is 24, just like me.

I think it's not only me that started to panic. I think my parents are too. I think if I introduce them, say, to a boyfriend, they will "sujud syukur" on the spot. LOL. Because seriously, I never get to show them any of my exes, because most of my relationships are just a short one.

Next month, 4 of my friends are getting married. One by one. Suddenly everyone is going to be in a lifetime commitment while me here is still writing in my pathetic little blog.

Ok, to be honest, right now I have a very close male friend. I would not say he's my boyfriend lah, because he simply is not. But he is the closest thing to a boyfriend to me. When I'm in distress he came to save me. LOL. And he listens to what I have to say, or what I simply wanna say. He is indeed, a very good listener. And so far I am very comfortable with him. Eventhough we might not sms or call each other once in every 5 minutes (duh..), I know he is there for me, and likewise, I am for him. But, I don't know. Maybe I am not yet ready. Maybe he has to do more to be rewarded with my trust. After all these years, it's not easy for me to trust guys.

Yes I do panic about this whole everyone-but-me-is-getting-married situation, but I think I need more time for my own self. Go ahead and say what u wanna say, I'll end up being an old maid ke, andartu ke, andalusia ke, go ahead. I don't care. Because I am not ready, and I think I haven't found the one yet. And marriage is not an easy thing, marriage is for a lifetime, not for one or two days only. Once you're in, you've sign up for an 'adventure of a lifetime'. You get what I mean, right? I know lah you all very the clever one kan. Haha.

Ok, that's it for today, I guess. Tata.

Kuching, Sarawak

2010-04-30T15:48:00.016+08:00

Ok hari ni baru nak update pasal Sarawak, setelah delay berminggu-minggu. Haha. Tapi ok la, better late than never right?

Aku terbang ke Kuching, Sarawak sebab nak attend conference kat sana. So holiday lah sekali alang-alang dah sampai sana. Tapi tu lah, sebab duit pun limited, memang jalan-jalan kat Kuching jela. Tak dapat nak jalan jauh-jauh macam ke Serikin ke, Santubong ke. Takpe la at least dapat jejak tanah Sarawak pun dah cukup bagus.

Aku pergi sana ditemani ayah aku. Mula-mula ingat nak suruh adik perempuan aku yang teman, tapi takut nanti dia takut lak kena tinggal sorang-sorang masa aku kena attend conference tu. Aku pun risau jugak nak biar dia sorang-sorang. Nak ajak mak aku pulak cuti dia dah tinggal sikit. So nak tak nak terpaksa la ayah aku temankan. Nak buat camne, anak perempuan takkan dia nak biar pergi jauh-jauh sorang-sorang. Dahla takde kawan yang attend conference tu sekali.

Masa kat conference tu aku memang sorang-sorang je. Tapi along the way ada la aku make some friends. Kira ok la kan, takdela canggung sangat aku rasa. Tapi tu la, sometimes memang rasa sangat uncomfortable bila kita sorang-sorang while everybody around you semua ada geng. Macam outcast.

This is the only proof I have that I attended the conference. Malas nak amek gambar banyak-banyak sebab sorang-sorang.

Masa presentation ni ada sorang Prof dari UPM tanya aku soalan bertubi-tubi. And ada satu soalan tu aku dah jawab, tapi dia cakap I'm not answering his question. So aku pause kejap nak fikir apa nak jawab lagi kan, tiba-tiba dia terus fire soalan lain. Bertubi-tubi ok. Aku macam, hey aku bukan robot. Bagi la aku fikir kejap. Bengang gak rasa masa tu. Dahla this is my first conference, and there's nobody else there that can save my ass. I'm all alone. Macam nak nangis pun ada tapi come on, takkan nak nangis kot. Buat malu je.

Bila dah habis session tu Prof tu datang kat aku and said " you should know the answer bla bla bla yada yada" and then bila aku nak try jawab soalan dia masa tu (sebab tak sempat nak jawab masa Q&A) he didn't give me a chance lansung. I was like, what the... I know you're a Prof, but that doesn't mean you can be so kerek towards me. After that dia blah dengan student dia. And I was like, whatever. Orang dah rasa besar macam tu la kot. Not my problem.

Then bila aku tanya kawan aku (dia dulu ex-student UPM) dia cakap Prof tu memang macam tu. Memang kerek. Pastu kawan aku cakap, biasa la kalau orang dengar Petronas je terus diorang rasa macam nak attack. Macam nak prove kat everybody yang diorang lagi bagus dari orang-orang Petronas ni. Green with envy kot. Dahla research aku lagi best dari research dia, tu yang dia buat bertambah-tambah envy kot. Haha. Entah la. Aku pun tak tau. Biar la at least aku dah ada experience attend conference. And that what matters the most.

Ok dah malas nak cakap pasal conference dah. Back to our original topic, Kuching. Personally I really love Kuching. Kuching sangat cantik. Dia cam tak la busy sangat, and tak la sunyi sangat macam ghost town. Macam just nice la. And banyak sangat tourist spot kat sini. Hotel pun banyak. Cuma nak jalan susah sikit la. Either you naik teksi or jalan kaki. Teksi dia sangat mahal. Macam cekik darah gila, sebab dia tak pakai meter. Tambang dari airport ke waterfront je dah RM 26. So aku dengan ayah banyak jalan kaki jela around Kuching tu. Oh lupe, apart from taxi, ada jugak kereta sewa. Tapi kitorang just nak duduk 4 hari je, rasa macam tak perlu kot nak sewa kereta.

Aku stay kat Kuching Waterfront Lodge. It's a nice budget hotel. Location pun strategik sebab memang betul-betul dekat deret main bazaar. Pastu lintas jalan je terus sampai waterfront. Tapi actually dia sebenarnya agak jauh dengan tempat conference (Pullman Hotel). Jalan kaki dalam 15 minit jugak la, kot. Aku lupa la. Tapi still reachable la kalau jalan kaki pun. Cuma penat sikit je. Dia punya bilik selesa la, comfortable enough for us. And breakfast is provided. Tapi breakfast simple jela, toast n jam n some fruits. Sometimes ada porridge, sometimes ada kek. Macam tu la. Ok la better than nothing kan. Dia punya interior decoration sangat menarik. Macam ada mix ethnic + a bit of oriental. Cantik la. And the staffs are all friendly and very helpful.

Ini dia Kuching Waterfront Lodge dari luar.

Hari first sampai Kuching aku dengan ayah dah tawaf satu waterfront. Sampai-sampai je terus berjalan. Hari kedua aku pergi conference sampai tengah hari. Lepas tu jalan-jalan lagi kat area waterfront. Hari ketiga bangun awal pastu pergi jalan-jalan keliling Kuching. Pergi beli kek lapis, keychains and segala macam souvenirs. Pastu pergi Muzium Negeri Sarawak. Sampai tengah hari. Petang aku present kat conference. Bila dah habis pukul 5 tu terus naik bot penambang pergi to the other side of waterfront. Tak tau panggil apa tempat tu, kitorang panggil seberang sungai je. Haha. Makan-makan amek gambar jap lepas tu balik. Hari keempat pagi-pagi dah keluar naik bot penambang nak pergi jalan-jalan amek gambar kat Dewan Undangan Negeri Sarawak. Pukul 11 balik pastu lunch pastu check out pastu straight pergi airport. Flight pukul 3.05 petang. Sampai LCCT dalam pukul 5.30.

Ok bawah ni aku letak gambar-gambar jela. Sori gambar tak ikut kronologi.

Rumah kampung di seberang sungai.

Hotel ape eh? Riverside kot. Lupa la. Gambar disnap di seberang sungai.

Ayah at Kuching Waterfront waktu malam.

Temple apa ntah. Lupa.

Ayah at one of the cafes kat Waterfront. Masa ni tengah makan laksa sarawak.

Boat jetty.

Berminat nak rasa manok pansuh tapi kedai dia betul-betul tepi parit so kensel.

Next gambar-gambar kat muzium.

Tu tengkorak betul ke hah?

A rock carving outside the museum.

Next gambar masa jalan kaki pusing-pusing Kuching. Haha ni kira dah malas nak letak caption la ni. Main upload je.

Dah tu je. Kenapa takde gambar saya? Biasala saya hanya selesa menjadi photographer sahaja. Heheh.

So kesimpulannya if korang ada masa and duit terlebih bolehla datang cuti-cuti Malaysia kat Sarawak ni. Hehe kerajaan Sarawak sila bagi saya royalti sebab promote. Lol.

em.

2010-04-28T14:56:00.002+08:00

Hmm. Sori tak dapat nak update lagi pasal Sarawak. Jiwa kacau je lately. Hehehe. But today, I feel much better, so I decided to karang satu entri. But not about Sarawaklah for sure. Lepas entri ni aku buat entri Sarawak. Sekarang masa idea tengah ada nak menaip ni baik aku taip dulu.

Sekarang aku rasa mulut aku sangat puaka. Aku suka gila cerita-cerita pasal orang yang aku tak suka. Macam tak boleh tahan tau mulut ni. Bila bukak je laju je mengutuk pot pet pot pet non-stop. Aku tak tau la apsal aku jadi camni. Dulu aku tak camtu pun. Maybe dulu pun aku pernah jugak mengutuk orang ni, tapi tak pernah la sekerap macam sekarang.

lagi satu aku macam senang sangat marah sekarang. Benda kecik pun nak marah. Macam pagi tadi, orang mandi lama-lama pun aku marah sebab aku nak mandi jadi lambat. Padahal benda kecik je pun. Tapi aku bersyukur lagi la setakat ni eventhough aku marah aku takdela sampai cari gaduh dengan orang. Aku akan diam je sampai emosi aku stabil balik. Aku memang dari kecik tak reti bergaduh. Aku memang macam ni. Kalau orang marah aku ke, layan aku teruk-teruk ke, aku akan buat bodoh je. Sebab memang hakikatnya aku tak suka gaduh dengan orang. Yela, kalau fikir-fikir balik it's not worth it. Gaduh sebab benda kecik, apa la untungnya kan. Rugi lagi ada.

Tapi tula, sekarang aku rasa macam nak jahit mulut sendiri. Asyik buat dosa kering je, sikit-sikit komplen pasal orang tu, komplen pasal orang ni. Aku tak tau la ni simptom penuaan ke ape, yela tahun ni kan aku dah masuk 24. Dah tua. Tapi aku rasa hati aku ni la, macam dah kotor. Dah hitam kot agaknya.

Aku harap aku akan berubah la. Aku taknak kutuk-kutuk orang dah. Aku pun tak faham sebab dulu aku tak suka judge orang, aku selalu bersangka baik kat orang, tapi sekarang aku judgemental sangat. Aku cakap orang lain judgemental, padahal aku pun sama. Aku mengaku aku memang bukan baik sangat, tapi insyaAllah aku akan ubah sikit demi sikit. Kalau drastik sangat takut hangat-hangat taik ayam je nanti. Berubah kejap je lepas tu buat balik.

Korang doa kan la aku ek. Aku dah tak larat nak fikir pasal dosa aku yang dah berguni-guni.

formspring.me

2010-04-23T16:45:00.003+08:00

Hai kawan-kawan. Nama saya upin. Ini adik saya, ipin. Betul betul betul!!

Ok tak lawak. Sebenarnya aku nak bagitau, aku dah ada formspring. Sila la tanya apa jua soalan yang korang nak tanya. Organic chemistry ke, physical chemistry ke, semua boleh. Soalan peribadi pun boleh. Aku takkan jawab "biarlah rahsia", aku janji. Haha.

Ok, kalau nak tanya, pergi kat sidebar sebelah. Takpun klik sini.

^_____^

2010-04-19T22:44:00.001+08:00

u olls..

mak malas gila nak update pasal sarawak. bila la mak nak rajin ni? nanti bila dah datang angin rajin baru mak update ye nyah!!

lol.

EnCon2010 - 1st day

2010-04-14T13:26:00.000+08:00

Tadi opening ceremony conference. lepas tu lunch kat hotel. Lepas tu sekarang tengah teman ayah makan kat medan pelita lagi. Nak buat camne, susah nak cari kedai makan kat sini. Dah ada pun nasib baik. Tadi masa lunch ada la aku berkenalan dengan 2 orang student UKM n 3 orang student UNIMAS. Student UKM tu dua-dua lelaki, n salah sorang tu happens to be ex UTP. So naturally aku akan cakap lebih dengan mamat yang ex UTP ni la kan. Lepas tu yang mamat lagi sorang tu macam senyum-senyum sinis. Mesti dia ingat aku nak ngorat kawan dia. Apa-apa jela. Haha. Malam ni tak tau la nak dinner ngan sape. Student UNIMAS yang 3 orang tu tak datang pun. Gasak la redah je. Kalau tak datang rugi, dahla bayar mahal. Petang ni ingat nak cekidaut muzium kucing la. Meoww!

live dari sarawak

2010-04-13T17:05:00.000+08:00

I'm in sarawak yaww!! Baru sampai pukul 3 td. Dah cek in and makan ayam penyet kat restoran floral, bangunan pelita. Gigih ni update guna wifi pelita. Haha. K la nak cekidaut tempat conference aka pullman hotel. Nanti update lg. Bye

quote of the day

2010-04-07T00:54:00.003+08:00

Dedicated to all my friends.

hari saya present..

2010-04-07T00:23:00.002+08:00

Nah. Baru dapat tadi. Kecuakkan semakin memuncak. Brrr..

2nd roll.

2010-04-05T10:37:00.010+08:00

Film: centuria (iso 200).

Banyak yang tak jadi. Centuria ni cantik sebab dia ada efek vintage, tapi tak sesuai sangat untuk capture gambar indoor. Dah pakai flash pun tak berapa terang sangat. Oh, aku dah order dah slide film, dalam minggu ni sampai la. Tak sabar rasanya. Hehe.